


Monster of Madness

by orphan_account



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman Beyond, DC Animated Universe, DC Elseworlds, Harley Quinn (Comics), The Flash - All Media Types, The Joker fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Batman Beyond - Freeform, Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker - Freeform, Earth 3, Gen, Jason needs lots of hugs, Jason shoots Joker, Joker hates Batman so much that he loves him, Joker is a human being too, Joker loves Batman, Joker loves Harley, Joker's so bad he's almost good, The Jokester goes by Red Hood, The future is scary if you are Batman, batjokes are implied maybe, is not where this story takes place
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2018-12-08 21:37:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 37,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11655219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A surprise encounter with Owlman leaves Terry forced to navigate a nightmarish world where heroes are villains; villains are allies, and nothing is as it seems. Will Terry be able to get home or will he be stuck in this dark Elseworld forever?





	1. Beware of the Owl, Terry!

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer:  
> This whole story is a fan work. I do not own these characters or universes. They are the property of Warner Brothers and DC Comics.

Terry stared at the giant computer, tapped on the keyboard scrolling through photos, and looked at the empty bat cave. Ace wandered in cautiously and allowed Terry to pet him. Ace let out a whimper, and Terry wiped away a tear. It had been one week since Bruce...died. The doctors said it was a heart attack, natural causes. Terry thought it would never happen. He was now Batman; there was no one else to continue the legacy, at least as far as he knew. The others who had worked with Bruce had long retired and were too old to be much help out in the field.

Just to add insult to injury, an enemy that had been thought long dead was threatening Gotham again, and Terry wasn't sure how or even if it could be stopped. Terry had no leads and this was someone he had never gone up against before.

"Oh, Bruce, I wish you were here. This problem requires more than a man in a nice suit and some tights. We need the world's greatest detective. We need Batman."

Ace looked at Terry with concern.

"I'm not Batman." Terry looked at the dog again. "I'm not Batman."

Terry had long asserted that he was Batman, but he knew that he wasn't the original. There were some things only Bruce could handle, and Terry felt lost without hearing that voice over the communicator.

"How many missions would I have been toast on had you not helped me out?" Terry was staring at a picture of old Bruce.

Terry let out a long sigh. Just then, Terry's communicator started buzzing.

"Terry?"

The voice on the other end sounded eerily familiar.

"Bruce?"

Terry's thoughts were racing. If that's Bruce, who died in the hospital bed? Who did we embalm and bury? Was it all some kind of elaborate hoax?

"Yes, it's me."

"We thought you were dead, you know? We even had your funeral." Terry said this in an excited scream, like he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Well, it's going to be ours if we don't stop this mysterious super villain. Do you have any leads?"

"None."

"I need you to go check out the abandoned warehouse on Third and Main."

"I'm on it!"

Without much thought, Terry hopped into the bat plane, taking Ace with him, and made his way to the abandoned warehouse.

Terry entered the warehouse and put on his night vision goggles.

"The place is a mess. Whoever came before me trashed the place."

Terry turned a corner, entered a corridor and started gagging and gasping for air. He quickly put on the gas mask to prevent himself from gagging. In front of him were grotesque and bloated yellowing figures.

"Dead bodies; from the looks of things, they've been dead for a while."

"Do the corpses have smiles?"

"Do they have...what?"

"Look at the corpses and tell me if they have smiles."

Terry scratched his head. Batman was approaching this much differently than he usually did.

Reluctantly, Terry turned on the flashlight and looked at the corpses. The sight was eerie.

"Yeah, they have big grotesque smiles."

"It means the Joker is behind this."

"The who?"

"The stupid retarded clown guy."

Terry had never heard Batman talk like this, but he shrugged it off.

"Isn't he dead?"

"When did that happen?"

Terry was taken aback. Batman would NOT forget about the death of the Joker. It was something that haunted him for years because of what it did to Tim Drake.

"Okay, look boss you're starting to freak me out here."

"I don't make jokes often, and I think this is why," the man on the other side of the communicator said.

"I don't think this is time to make jokes, Bruce," Terry said. For that matter, was it something you needed to be joking about anyway? That settles it; you're finally losing it, if it's even you.

Terry felt a jolt of electricity go through his suit.

"Don't call me Bruce; they don't need to know who you are working with."

"Ouch. Okay. Sorry. Gee, someone's a little cranky."

"I just don't want anyone to know we're here."

"Chill out; we're investigating a crime scene. Are you sure you are okay? I've never seen you this on edge."

"Everything is okay, but I need you to hurry. Gather all of the evidence you can from those corpses. I want tissue, blood, teeth, hair, everything."

Terry got a chill. The voice on the other end sounded almost cheerful, almost as if this was some kind of art project. Terry dismissed the thoughts once again. It's probably nothing. Maybe I'm just tired.

Terry turned to the bloated corpses and gently scraped away from of the bloated soft tissues. It was a gut wrenching task. Maggots were filling every nook and cranny and the skin in some places had turned to liquid. The smell was also just overwhelming, even with his gas mask on, he could hardly stand it. Terry eventually finished the gruesome task without gagging, though. Collecting samples from rotting corpses is something Batman had never asked him to do before.

"Okay, I'm finished. Now, what do you want me to do?"

"Meet me in room five. Someone tied me up and put me in a straight jacket."

It seems like you need to be in one tonight. What is going on with you Batman?

"Okay, boss, I'm on my way."

Terry searched for room five and checked the door. It wasn't locked. Terry found Bruce and began freeing him of his restraints.

"How did this happen? Bruce, where were you? I was very worried."

Terry pulled Bruce into an embrace. Bruce stilted and braced at the hug, he then took one of his arms and threw Terry off of him.

"That's enough of that! We need to get back to work and find out about this mysterious super villain."

Terry stood there dumbfounded.

"...but Bruce, I legitimately thought you were dead. We just had your funeral. Why are you acting so irritated?"

"I guess coming back from the dead left me a little more irritable than usual."

"That's it? No explanation?"

"I've explained all I want, now we need to go back to the bat cave to analyze those samples."

Bruce followed Terry to the bat plane. Terry got on and Ace was waiting, tail wagging. Bruce approached. Ace looked at Bruce, tail wagging, but suddenly he bristled and growled. Terry looked at the dog. What's up with him?

Terry grabbed Ace by the collar.

"It's okay, boy; it's okay, don't you recognize him?"

Ace tried to lunge toward the man from Terry's grasp.

"Get away from me, you filthy mongrel!"

Bruce took some kind of spray out of his pocket and squirted the dog. The dog yelped and then fell asleep.

"Is that any way to treat your loyal bat hound, Bruce? I've never seen you like this."

Terry dragged the snoring dog to the back.

"Maybe he's just irritable," Bruce said.

"It looks like that makes two of you," Terry quipped.

Without warning, Terry got a fist to his jaw.

"Ow. What was that for?" Terry asked.

"Respect me, or I will give you worse next time."

"You really aren't yourself today, are you?"

Terry drove the bat plane in silence, afraid to try to make conversation with Bruce. Whatever was going on, things weren't adding up. This guy looked and sounded like Bruce, but a lot of things weren't adding up. Why is he so on edge and angry? He knows my name, but he's acting like he doesn't even know who I am.

Again, though, Terry dismissed the thought. No one would be impersonating Bruce; would they? Terry fought the idea. Batman was back from certain death, and maybe he hadn't quite recovered.

Terry hovered over the outdoor entrance to the bat cave. Bruce's new security system required an eye scan. Bruce allowed the scanner to scan his eyes. He passed the scan; this was really him.

Okay, well, I guess he's just having a bad day. Terry thought.

Bruce climbed out of the bat plane and into the bat cave.

"Good, now get started examining that evidence."

"I've already been combing through a few files. We don't have enough information to link anyone, and your prime suspect is deceased."

"Keep looking," the man said it like he didn't care what was going on.

"...and while we're at it, don't be so careless next time. I found your communicator and your backpack just lying on a park bench, where anyone could have taken it."

Terry swallowed hard. He was chasing a group of thugs earlier that week and didn't have time to change into the suit. He must have just left it lying there.

Bruce glared at him.

"This is not a game McGinnis."

"Right boss."

Terry studied the figure in the room. He looked like Bruce but something was off. Years of working as Batman taught him to expect the unexpected, he looked at Bruce for a while. Something was off. There was a scar above his right eye and a burn mark on his neck. Bruce could have gotten those things recently, though.

"Terry, I'm sorry. My old age must be making me slip. How do you work the?"

"It's your computer, old man. Here, just press these buttons. These are all of your criminal files."

Terry watched as the figure of Bruce took a note pad to write down the steps Terry showed him to access his own computer.

I think Bruce might be getting Alzheimer's or something. This isn't right. I'm very confused. Terry thought to himself.

Ace recovered from his nap, bounded into the room, wagged his tail at Terry and then stopped and growled at Bruce.

"What has gotten into you?" Terry asked as he grabbed the dog by the color.

Ace didn't calm down, he continued to growl and adopted a fighting pose.

"It's okay, boy, it's just...Bruce," Terry said unsure of himself.

Ace continue to growl and lunged at Bruce like he was some kind of intruder.

"What's gotten into you?" Terry asked

Bruce whipped the dog with his cane.

"Get off of me, you stupid mongrel!"

The dog broke free of Terry's grasp and started trying to maul Bruce.

Terry looked at the scene in shock.

"What should I do?" Bruce yelped.

"Maybe try calling him by name? I don't know."

"Down, bat dog!" Bruce called.

Terry looked at Bruce and the dog. Ace and Bruce are acting like they've never seen each other before. That settles it.

Terry called off the dog with a whistle and held him by the collar; his attention returned to the man who looked like Bruce Wayne.

"His name's Ace, and I think you better tell me who you are, old man."

"Terry, I'm Bruce Wayne, Batman. Why, don't you recognize me?"

"Wrong answer. Ace acted like he didn't know you. I think you're an imposter. Tell me who you really are." Terry said this half joking; he was acting on pure instinct at this point.

Just then, the man who looked like Bruce Wayne let out a maniacal laugh and turned around with a manic grin, as big as when Tim was possessed by the Joker.

"No, perhaps I should just show you. You're smarter than you look, kid, but since you can't just play along, you can join the others. I have what I want after all. You gave me access to the bat computer, the bat cave, the Justice League's files, and all of Gotham's remaining defense forces, like an idiot. You know, I had a talon a little like you, naive and stupid."

The man pushed a series of buttons on a device he was holding and opened up a portal underneath Terry's feet.

Terry let out a worried whimper followed by, "who are you?"

"Your worst nightmare," the man spat as Terry was engulfed by the portal.

Darkness closed around Terry, and it felt like he was falling for an eternity.


	2. Step Plant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crazy relatives, family fueds, an angry dog, and people replaced by plants?

Terry free fell for what felt like an eternity down a deep dark void. Terry watched the one-hundred-and-something pound Great Dane to try to take his mind off of the terror. Ace had a look of confusion on his face and was trying to do a dog paddle through the air. The dog didn't know how to react, and neither did Terry. It was nice that someone wasn't freaking out, though.

Just then, when it seemed like the falling would last forever, it stopped. It stopped abruptly, like someone turned off a machine. There was no impact. It was as if the fall never happened.

Terry opened his eyes; he was lying on a soft mattress. They were in familiar territory. It was one of the bedrooms at Wayne Manor. How did he get here? Was it all just a dream? He didn't remember walking into this bedroom. Terry cautiously opened the door and took a look around.

There were a group of people, probably in their twenties or early thirties gathered around a table. He couldn't tell who they were because they had owl masks covering their faces.

"I hope Bruce enjoyed his trip. You know, I don't think he should come back from his little planet finding expedition."

"and you think you would be good as the man in charge?"

"I'm a thousand times better. Owlman doesn't know who he's been kicking around!"

"I've heard that one before, Damian."

"Plus, I'm Owlman's legitimate son; the rest of you are just hired help."

"Careful, don't get too cocky. Remember, you weren't even in line until you got rid of that McGinnis fellow."

"Lightweight. I stole his regeneration crystals, and he died like any other zero. I'm a talon, an assassin, raised by the Court of Owls. No one crosses me and lives. Plus, he was working with the red hood."

"Speaking of Red Hood, what ever happened to Jason Todd, you know the kid who Red Hood kidnapped? Did Owlman ever accept him back?"

"Last I heard, he was in hiding, and it needs to stay that way!"

"Is he back on our side? Rumor has it he was causing some resistance with Red Hood..."

"Red Hood's dead, Tim. It's just a rumor that he's still out causing trouble for the Crime Syndicate."

"Plus, after Owlman framed him for killing Jason's mother, I doubt he has any love left for him. Last I heard, he tried to tear him apart with his bare hands."

"What about that...clown?"

"Owlman broke his scrawny little neck after he got what he wanted from him."

"I occasionally still see smiling corpses...that guy gave me the creeps...and it's my job to kill people."

"Tell me about it."

"Owlman stole the formula for his laughing gas and he's been using it for his own purposes."

"Where are the others?"

"Yellow Lantern, Ultraman, and Superwoman are taking care of an aging Lex Luthor."

"...and by taking care of course we mean..."

Talon made the sign of a knife slitting someone's throat with his finger.

"Alexander Luthor is just interested in money. Once his father's out of the way, he should be easy to persuade."

"World domination, here we come!"

"Wait, what about...Batman?"

"That alternate universe version of Bruce Wayne that a few drunk members of the Crime Syndicate claimed they saw running around with Red Hood years ago? He's probably dead if he ever existed in the first place. Stop listening to rumors."

Wow, this is not good. I'm definitely NOT in my Gotham anymore. This has to be a dream. Oh, please let this be a dream.

Terry pinched himself hard and winced at the pain. Nope, I'm still here.

Just then, Ace cautiously walked over to Terry and let out a whimper as he let Terry pet him.

"What was that?"

"It might be an intruder..."

"I think we're overreacting."

Just then, Ace caught wind of the people in the other room and started to growl.

Terry was frantic "Down boy, no!"

Ace wouldn't listen, though,he continued growling and pulling at his spiked collar.

"That's a dog. Who let a dog in here?"

"There is definitely an intruder."

Damian brandished his katana.

"I'll take care of this!"

Damian hurried up the stairs where the growling and whimpering was coming from.

"Ace, now look what you did!"

Damian saw Terry and whispered, "McGinnis?"

"Present and accounted for?"

Before Terry could engage in conversation, Damian was swinging his sword.

"I don't know how you survived losing your chaos crystal, but you won't survive this!" Damian readied his sword and held it high above his head. McGinnis frantically dodged, letting go of Ace.

Having finally escaped Terry's grasp, the dog ran for Damian and grabbed him in the crotch, knocking him on his back. Then, he ran into the crowd of people at the table. Ace was ready to attack, his mouth was ready and his sharp teeth were showing. The dog's lips were pulled back, and he was drooling and growling manically.

"Stop! Somebody call him off!"

"Does it have rabies?"

"Where did it come from?"

The dog leaped onto them, tearing their masks off. Terry could see them clearly now. He gasped in horror before collecting himself.

Ace continued his attack.

Terry sighed a little sigh of relief. That ought to keep them busy. There was no time to waste, he had to get out of here somehow. Terry ran back to the bedroom where he was dropped, opened his backpack, and put on his batsuit. Then, he opened the window, activated his jet packs, and flew away.

Where in the world am I?

Terry scanned the city from a bat's eye view. It looked like Gotham, but it clearly wasn't his Gotham. Damian, Stephanie, Dick, and Tim were all much older...and they weren't criminals, not in his world.

Terry played bits and pieces of the conversation in his head. What are chaos crystals? What's a talon? Who's Owlman? What is the Crime Syndicate? I seriously need answers. I don't where to get them, though. Those people are in Wayne Manor. Bruce is apparently crazy. I'm lost here.

McGinnis flew over his old house. There it was, unmistakable white picket fence. Matt was playing outside.

Terry thought to himself. Well, you know what they say? There's no place like home, right? Maybe they have some answers. Maybe things won't seem so weird at home.

Mrs. McGinnis looked up in the sky.

"Quick, Matt, go inside!" Mrs. McGinnis ordered.

Terry found a place to land and changed into his street clothes before confronting his mother.

The boy knocked on the door, nervous about what he would find. I really hope she doesn't turn out to be a monster that tries to eat me.

The door opened after about a minute, and Mrs. McGinnis was standing in the doorway with a worried look on her face.

"Terry? I thought...I thought you were dead!"

Terry remembered the earlier events and replied, "apparently you weren't the only one."

"The trouble started when you took that awful job at Wayne Enterprises. We received death threats, letters from gangs, ransom demands, trouble from Gotham super villains. Mr. Wayne is apparently a very unpopular man. I don't know why I ever let you take that horrible job."

"Yeah, well..."

"Come in, Terry."

Matt came to the door and looked at Terry.

"Are you a ghost?" Matt said with a smile on his face.

"Do i look like a ghost to you?"

A man walked up to the door.

"Why, hello young man, I'm not sure we've been acquainted."

Terry looked at the man with a little bit of surprise.

"Mom, who is this?"

"Well, I know it was soon after you lost your father, honey, but I thought you were dead, too, and I needed someone to help take care of things."

"You're my step father?"

"I suppose that is indeed who I am. You may call me Charles or dad, if you prefer."

Terry's look of calm vanished into a look of disappointment.

"You know, Terry, your father isn't coming back. He died at the hands of Jokerz gang members."

"I know."

Terry hung his head and slowly walked through the front door.

There's no place like home, huh?

McGinnis spent the rest of the day catching up with his sort of family and learning about this new world he was in. Wayne Enterprises was crooked; that's no surprise. There were rumors they were testing subjects and creating meta humans, yep that's pretty normal.

Terry continued to scan the newspaper.

Ultraman, Superwoman, Yellow Lantern, and Owlman have not been apprehended even though they are suspected in the latest attempt to assassinate Lex Luthor and his son Alex.

There were 40,000 killed in a bombing in Metropolis.

Red Hood rumored to be alive.

Mayor to give speech on the dangers of vigilante crime fighters and the damage they do to cities.

Ace Chemical Plant blows up again, Jokerz gang initiation suspected culprit.

Terry continued scanning the newspaper. Who is Owlman?

"Hello Terry."

Terry looked up from the paper to respond to the masculine voice.

"Oh, hi Charlie, so you're my new step dad, huh?"

"I know I'll never replace your dad, but give me a chance."

"It's not that...not really."

"What's wrong?"

"Have you ever felt so...out of place?"

"A lot of people feel like that at one time or another."

"Not like me. Anyway, I'm going to bed. It's been a long day. I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay, son."

"Honey, are you sure? It's only 6:00."

"Yeah, I'm sure. It's been a really long day."

Terry went to his room. Matt was lying on the bed watching TV.

After you left, mom said I could use your room.

Matt paused. "Didn't tell them the Court made you a talon, did you?"

"How...do you know about that?" Terry asked cautiously.

"You told me silly, right after my step dad...replaced us."

"Replaced us?" Terry asked.

"With his plant creatures, remember? We had to run away so that we'd be safe. Unfortunately he eventually caught up to us. Then he found out you were a talon, and Owlman didn't like that we knew your secret."

Just then, Matt flickered, like a hologram. Terry braced for what was going to happen next. The scenario was going to be right out of a horror movie; he just knew it. Terry moved toward Matt and attempted to touch him; his hand went right through him.

What is going on?

In a little panic, Terry ran back into the living room. The first thing he did was try to hug his mom.

"I really missed you, you know."

"Ah! Terry, what are you doing? Don't touch me!"

Terry heard the warning too late, his hand came in contact with his mom and her skin started to melt.

Oh no. What is going on, here. What is happening?

Terry panicked. The woman he loved more than anyone in the world was...melting into a green puddle. Terry watched as the puddle stopped moving and oozed into the kitchen tile. The boy had a worried look on his face.

Really? This is like a horror movie; I must be dreaming!

Charles came in, took one look at the scene and shouted, "Terry, what have you done!"

"I...I...I..." Terry stammered unsure of what to say.

"Owlman was right about you. You appreciate nothing. I kill your imperfect family and remake it into a perfect one, and this is how you repay me, by destroying my creations?"

"What are you talking about?"

While Terry was talking to him, Charles' face melted to reveal some kind of green monster.

"I think it's time I replace you, too," Charles said.

Terry was in shock. He didn't know what to say. The green monster threw part of itself toward him. Terry dodged it, leaving sticky residue everywhere.

"When did you become a super villain?" Terry asked. He was trying to distract him so that he could get the bat suit.

"I've been one for a very long time. I became a super villain when I learned that it was the only way to survive here."

"That's not true."

"Oh, really? Like how you became a talon? Tell me we aren't alike."

"Well, I'm not throwing green goo everywhere..."

"What? Enough talking. It's time to finish you!"

Terry noticed the monster's moves were similar to that of Inque. He was hoping that maybe it would have the same weaknesses. Terry turned on the faucet and sprayed the monster. Instead of shriek, the monster let out a laugh.

"Ha ha ha ha...we're trying that old trick, are we? I bloom when I'm exposed to water. I laugh when I'm exposed to pain. I live when exposed to death."

Immediately the room was filled with flowers, leaves, vines, and seeds, spreading and threatening to choke McGinnis. Terry ran keeping just a few steps ahead of the avalanche of flora. He made it his old room, where the hologram of Matt was still watching TV.

"I warned you. Daddy's mad at you. " The hologram said lazily.

Terry grabbed his bat suit and exited out the window.

Matt's hologram watched the whole thing.

Charles, as a mass of flowers and seeds, burst into the room.

"Where is he?"

Matt's hologram pointed at the sky.

Charles watched a bat-shaped silhouette taking off into the night.

"I'll get that talon if it's the last thing I ever do; he ruined my perfect life again! Plus, Owlman's done with him."


	3. Ha! Ha! Harley!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Harleen Frances Quinzel. Nice to meet you."

Terry sped through the sky; his thoughts and heart were racing.

I can't go home, because there's a monster living in my house that wants to kill me. My mom, dad, and brother are apparently dead. There is no Batman and no Robin, just a criminal called Owlman and his talons. I don't understand this place. I want to go home. I feel like this is a dream, but I can't wake up.

Terry longed for something familiar, anything.

A bank's security alarm went off. It was a group of Jokerz.

I never thought I would be happy to see them!

Terry swooped down and surprised the gang members.

"Going somewhere, gentlemen?" Terry asked.

"Who's that?"

"It looks like a talon."

"a talon!"

Suddenly, the whole group got nervous and dropped the money on the ground.

"I'll be taking that! McGinnis said.

"Take anything you want, just don't hurt us!"

"Why would I...hurt you?"

"Oh, really funny. Don't get started. You know what Owlman does. Don't play dumb with us."

Just then, some girls showed up on motorcycles.

It was a group of young women in jester hats.

"Who are you?"

"Oh, great. It's the Jokerz rip-off gang that calls itself the Harley's."

"Jokerz and Harley's are completely different affiliations. Jokerz can only wish they were as good as Harley's and J's."

"Just a cheap copy if you ask me-clown mask, jester hats, playing card theme."

"Well, we happen to know Mr. J personally; that's more than your little gang can claim."

"Joker's dead lady, if he ever existed in the first place."

"That's what you think. We'll be taking that loot, because he sent us to retrieve it."

"Um, actually, this is going back to where it belongs, and you guys are getting arrested."

"By whom?"

"Yeah, whose going to convince the cops to mess with a gang as dangerous as we are?"

"Most of the cops are crooked anyway."

"Plus, whose going to believe a talon? The police arrest your guys like they do us."

"Stop trying ta play hero, and hand over the loot!"

A Harley gang member undid the safety on her gun. McGinnis could tell that she meant business.

"Hmm...we normally take no prisoners, but I think we should make an exception for the cute talon."

Without another word, one of the Harley's removed McGinnis' cowl.

"Oh, Terry McGinnis? The talon who got rejected by Owlman. Let's bag him. Mr. J would be so happy. He hates bats, robins, owls, and talons."

"He's supposed ta be dead anyway, so I doubt anyone would go looking for 'em."

"Get on the motorcycle, kid."

Another Harley took a smiling bomb out of her purse, "and as for da rest a you pretenders...a little gift from Mr. J...if you don't scram!"

The Jokerz instantly recognized the bomb and started running away in terror.

A Harley dropped the bomb, and out popped some harmless green smoke followed by confetti and a spring loaded Joker doll holding a "boom" sign.

"Joke's on you, Jokerz."

One of the Harley's pushed Terry on to the motorcycle, a gun still firmly pressed to his now cowl-less face. Terry could have escaped, but nothing made sense. He couldn't just keep running. If this was a nightmare, he was going to just have to face his fears and let it all play out the way it was supposed to.

"So, Harley's, what, are you girls motorcycle fans?"

The girl in front let out a little chuckle.

"Yes silly, but our gang is named after da Joker's girlfriend and infamous partner in crime, Harley Quinn. Ever heard of her?"

"No. The Joker had a girlfriend? When? In what universe?"

The girl let out a chuckle.

"You're funny, you know that, Terry?"

"I wasn't trying to be. I'm sorry, but how does everyone know my name?"

"You're either funny or stupid, McGinnis. You were all over da papers after Owlman threw you to the cops and left you ta rot. You became sort of a celebrity. Secret identities are overrated anyway, if you ask me."

"Since that's the way you feel, what's your real name?"

"I was born Denise, but I changed it to Harleen Frances Quinzel, like my grandmother."

"Your grandmother was Harley Quinn? So, what does that make you, like Joker royalty?"

"I wish. Joker only acknowledges me when he needs something."

"It's not surprising."

Harley let out another chuckle.

The motorcycle stopped at a foreboding looking abandoned amusement park.

"You'll like him; he's really sweet if you take da time ta get ta know 'em."

"I...doubt that..."

"...and smile; he doesn't like frowny faces. He might put a eh-hem more permanent smile on your face, like he did Courtney."

Harley pointed to a girl who had a scar where it looked like her face was sliced in two.

Oh great. Could this get any worse?

Harley and the other girls lead Terry deep into the abandoned park. The park was like something out of a murder mystery. Dilapidated rides loomed tall and intimidating, casting foreboding shadows. Rotting advertisements and broken glass littered the floor. The wind blew and caused the old rides to creak and moan. Rats scurried around looking for scraps of food. Terry took a deep breath and started gagging. The smell of rotting meat hung heavy in the night air.

The Harley's stopped at an abandoned roller coaster.

"Well, we hope you don't feel like we've taken you for a ride McGinnis, but this is your stop."

Without giving Terry much time to think, two of the girls pushed him into the car and started the ride. It read "Haunted Caverns."

Terry held on to the car as his thoughts again raced. Okay, I think I'm scared now. Girls in clown outfits have kidnapped me and forced me onto a roller coaster that sounds like it's going to break any minute. I've been unmasked, and everyone knows that I'm Batman, sort of, and now I'm supposed to be riding this scary ride alone to meet the Joker who is apparently very much alive in this version of reality. i really want to wake up now! What did I eat to give me this nightmare? Is this a nightmare?

Terry braced himself. There was a loop. He wasn't even buckled in to anything. McGinnis thought about ejecting himself, but something on the suit was missing; he couldn't activate the jet packs. Stupid me. Apparently that Harley girl was interested in more than just getting to know me.

Terry pushed his legs against the seat and held on tightly with his arms, preparing for the loop. Just then, the roller coaster switched to a hidden track and plunged itself underground with an unexpected drop. The loop was just a decoy. Terry's arms were sore; the smell of rotting flesh hung heavy in the air, and he could hear flies buzzing. Just then, a few dim lights came on, and the horror intensified.

Circus music started playing, and it was revealed that the place was littered with rotting smiling corpses attached to various pieces of machinery. Some were dressed like witches, ghosts, fortune tellers, clowns...

In the center of it all was a giant jack-in-box. The roller coaster slowed down to a dead stop. The exit gate was right next to him, or so it appeared. Terry got off of the ride and started to run toward the exit, only to be intercepted by a giant spring-loaded device that flipped him into the jack-in-the-box.

Once Terry was inside of the mechanism, whirring machinery quickly bound and gagged him. Then, he felt the tiniest pinprick, like a mosquito bite, really. Terry started feeling really dizzy and tired. Unmistakable laughter filled the night air.

No no please tell me this is a dream. I killed you!


	4. Bat Jokes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: 
> 
> Contrary to the title, there isn't really any batjokes content in this chapter. For that, see chapter 11.

Ha ha ha ha!"

The manic laughter of the pale faced clown man filled the air of the cavern.

"Oooh! A new toy? Is this one of those wind-up owl-in-the-boxes I've heard so much about?"

Terry sighed to himself. _Here we go._

"Three two one!"

Without another warning, the spring loaded platform underneath Terry released, propelling him out of the box. McGinnis hung in the air for just a few seconds before the spring drooped to ground under his weight. The restraints released freeing him. The bat boy tried to move, but he couldn't.

"Don't bother. You can't move one little voluntary muscle no matter how badly you struggle, but you can still cry, and of course, feel pain." Joker lingered on those last few words in a satisfied growl.

Joker then let out a euphoric laugh.

At this point, Terry was crying.

"Please, I just want to go home. I just want to wake up from this nightmare!"

"Don't we all!"

Joker pulled out a switchblade and held it firmly to Terry's throat.

"But thanks to your boss, we can't wake up, kiddo! This is reality. It's a hyena eat owl world..."

Joker paused and made a little slit in Terry's skin.

"...and unfortunately for you, I'm hungry," Joker growled.

 _This day has gotten so crazy. I can't think anymore. I can't move. I can't do this anymore, I can't.._.

Terry fainted.

"McGinnis? McGinnis? Humph, I was just getting to the best part, too. Kids these days, no respect for tradition."

Joker's stomach growled.

"Ooh, I really am hungry. Who's for Chinese?"

"Ooh, there's this great place on Main, Mr. J."

"Okay, let's go, then!"

"Um, what do you want us to do with the kid, boss?"

"You know, I didn't expect this to happen. It looks like the kid needs his rest; he's had a busy day after all, put him to bed."

"...and by bed do you mean?"

One of the henchmen passed one of his fingers over his neck.

"NO, YOU IDIOT! I mean put him in an actual bed so that he can get some rest so we can scare him some more. He's a talon, and he's probably got information on Owlman. Do I have to spell it out for you?"

Joker motioned to one of his other henchmen by passing his finger over his neck and pointing to the man he deemed incompetent.

"Oh, good help is so hard to find these days!"

The henchman raised his gun...

"Sorry boss, I'll..."

The gun released with a loud BAM. The henchmen didn't get to finish his sentence before dropping dead in a pool of his own blood.

"Well, that was fun, but I'm still in the mood for some Chinese."

"Come on, let's go before they close, boss."

Terry awoke with a splitting headache.

_Ow. Where am I?_

Memories of past events started flooding his mind, and he groaned at the realization.

_This isn't a nightmare, is it?_

Terry groggily looked around the room.

_Oh, great. It's a guy in a clown mask. The Joker? I was captured by the Joker? This is all kinds of crazy. I need to escape. I don't know where I'm going but anything is better than hanging out here, isn't it? Maybe I should go back home? No, the people at home tried to kill you. Who hasn't tried to kill me here? It's like I'm in a world dominated by blood thirsty monsters. Was it like that at the other place? I'm having trouble remembering the other place._

Terry noticed his bruises. _This isn't a dream. With all of the pain I'm in, I would have woken up by now, unless I'm in a coma._

The boy unintentionally moved enough for the henchman to notice him.

"Oh, good, you're awake!"

"Look, I'm just going to be going now, okay?" Terry said.

He was so frightened that he didn't really know what to do.

_I'm really hoping that guy is as dumb as he looks. Who knows? Maybe they'll just let me walk out of here._

Terry made it to the door, only to be intercepted by unnaturally stretchy arms.

_This guy's got super powers, too? It's like having superpowers is normal around here. I'm the odd one out._

The arms wrapped around Terry and pulled him right back to his bed.

Terry was just too shocked and weak to fight it. Plus, as he started to become more alert, he noticed that they took his suit. He couldn't really fight if he wanted to.

The boy sat back on the edge of the bed and sighed.

"Oh, why so glum, chum?" The henchmen asked.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe being kidnapped and held against my will has something to do with it?"

"Oh, cheer up..."

"Why do you work for this guy anyway?"

The henchman couldn't answer.

"That's what I thought."

Terry collapsed on the soft bed again and let out a sigh.

Just then, he heard footsteps and people talking.

"Then she said wonton, and I said I'm sure I don't want that many fortune cookies."

Terry could hear nervous and forced laughter echoed through the hall.

Just then, there was a knock on the door.

Terry sat up in the bed, and Joker and a few henchmen came waltzing through.

"Oh how's my little talon? Did you enjoy your beauty rest?" Joker asked with a sickeningly false sweetness.

Terry let out an almost involuntary yawn.

_Oops..._

"I'm going to take that as a 'yes."

Joker's henchmen grabbed Terry.

"Anyway, on your feet; we've got a busy day ahead of us..." Joker trilled off in maniacal laughter as he removed a crowbar from somewhere in his coat.


	5. Joker's Wild

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker fiddled with the shiny crowbar as he had Terry bound by his henchmen.
> 
> "Wow, I haven't used one of these in years. It was after I kidnapped that Jason Todd fellow. You know, he was a talon, too."

Joker fiddled with the shiny crowbar as he had Terry bound by his henchmen.

"Wow, I haven't used one of these in years. It was after I kidnapped that Jason Todd fellow. You know, he was a talon, too."

Terry braced for the impact.

Joker threw the crowbar back and took a swing. A blow landed right on Terry's leg, causing him to yell out in pain.

Joker laughed.

"You know, boy, it's been a while since your old uncle Joker has had this much fun!"

Terry couldn't do anything but cry at this point.

"Tears won't get you any sympathy from me, kiddo. How about you tell me where your boss Owlman is hiding?"

"I told you already, I don't know who Owlman is!"

"Sorry, that's the wrong answer I'm afraid. If you're going to tell a lie, kid, at least make it believable."

Joker took another swing with the crowbar and landed a blow squarely in Terry's ribs.

"Thrack!"

"Owwww!"

"Are you interested in telling me what you know now, hmm?"

"I told you, I don't know anything! Besides, you wouldn't even believe the truth."

Joker swung the crowbar back like he was going to hit him again but stopped mid-way and playfully tapped Terry's shoulder.

"Try me."

"Are...you sure you want the...truth?"

Joker nodded his head and batted his eyelashes.

"Hmm...hmm..."

 _He's going to kill me. He's not going to believe this, and he's going to kill me._  

"Fine. I'm Batman...and..."

"Stop right there!"

Joker readied his crowbar to take another swing

"Why that's the craziest, most unbelievable, most unreliable..."

Joker stopped mid-sentence and dropped the crowbar. What he said finally registered.

"...what did you say?"

"I said, 'I'm Batman!"

"...and I was once a superhero..." Joker said sarcastically, "how do you know about Batman?"

"I'm from another world."

"Aren't we all?"

Joker shook his head.

"Look, what do you think I am, crazy? Batman is...gone. He's a relic of a bygone era, a time when super villains didn't run the world. Things are a lot different now, kid."

Joker sighed.

"I remember the good old days...before Owlman showed up...before you were even born, probably. The nerve of you, claiming to be Batman. I should feel perfectly justified killing you."

"I really am Batman..."

Joker picked up the crow bar and slammed it into Terry's stomach.

"Don't mention that name ever again, kid!"

Joker dropped the crow bar and left Terry tied up.

_The nerve of that inconsiderate little punk, to call himself Batman. Talons kill as part of their job, but Batman never killed anyone, not even me. Why did you leave me alive to face this cruel world without you, Bruce? I never dreamed it could get this bad. No superheroes to make the world a brighter place and to make the super villains shine. No sense of hope...no challenge. No Batman._

Joker looked at his crowbar.

"Just an Owlman and his pesky little talons."

Joker took some black mud from the grounds of his cavern and marked a little face on the crowbar.

"I like to beat the little talons," Joker said, pretending to be his crowbar.

"I know, I do, too."

"I once liked to beat up Robins and Bats, too."

"Yeah, before we knew any better."

"I miss Batman, though."

"Tell me about it."

"Batman was the one thing that was right in this crazy old world. Oh, Bats, I wish you were still here. You were taken by that cruel dopplegangster we call Owlman and his mischeivous talons, and I...let it happen. I was so jealous of you at the time. I made all sorts of excuses, 'Oh, Batman doesn't need my help; he'll be fine on his own. He'd just beat me up and send me back to Arkham, but...he beat you, Bats, beat you, cut off your head, and then paraded your cape cowl and personal belongings for the world to see. He exposed you to the world. Before Owlman, only I knew you were Bruce Wayne, the billionaire who could match wits with the world's greatest super villain clown. After Owlman, the whole world knew you, and I knew you briefly on a more personal level. You were almost enough to drive this old lunatic sane."

Joker had a few small tears in his eyes.

"You know, I still think about him from time to time. I wonder what he would say if he were still here. What do you think he would say, Smashy?"

"Shut up, Joker, you are insane!"

"Yep."

"You need to stop killing people..."

"That sounds like him, alright. Stop killing people? It's so much fun, though. You just say that because you never tried it."

"If you want to make it up to Batman, listen to the boy! He might be telling the truth."

"Okay, Smashy, we can stop now..."

"You're going to be like you were all of the other times aren't you?"

"Wow, you're really getting into this!"

"Killing innocent and guilty alike, destroying your friends, and betraying your allies. You are a monster!"

"I like that. Do the gravelly Batman voice."

"LISTEN to the boy, or do you want the blood of another innocent on your hands? You murdered my robins, crippled my allies, and let Owlman take over your world."

"Really, though, it's not even a fun place to play anymore."

"It will never be fun, Joker!"

"It would if Batman were here."

"...so help Batman."

"That's not Batman! It's a pathetic talon trying some last-ditch effort to save his own skin. Gotta hand it to him and Owlsie, though, he even got the suit right!"

"He still might be worth more to you alive than dead."

"How so?"

"An enemy of an enemy is a friend, at least that's how it works for most people."

"Yeah? Well, I don't make friends. I don't need them!"

"It was just an expression. It means he could be an ally."

"Yeah, and I could be a member of the Justice League."

"Let's not start this..."

"I'm not in the mood for falling for one of Owlman's stupid little games."

"He thinks you're dead."

"I'm as good as dead to him; he broke my neck but only enough to paralyze me. I guess he didn't care enough to finish the job."

"You can still walk."

"Bats, of course, I'm the Joker. I know everything there is to know about chemicals, genetics, DNA splicing. You think I can't deal with something as minor as a broken neck after all you've put me through? I'm shocked, and a little hurt."

"You're the one talking to a crowbar and pretending it's Batman."

"Fine, Brucey bar, what would you do, if you're so smart?"

"I would keep him alive of course, for the time being, while I looked through the evidence and tried to see if his story checked out."

"How do you propose I find product for the preposterous?"

"Now, I thought clowns knew how to think outside of the box..."

"Was that one of your pathetic little attempts at a joke, Bats?"

"If I were there, my first steps would be to comb over the suit for evidence."

"For evidence that the kid's from another world?"

"...and they call me crazy? Oh Bats, you're as crazy as me. I love you even though you're dead!"

Just then, something rustled in the bushes.

"Uh, boss, are you...talking to a crowbar?" one of the henchmen asked.

"What does it look like, Curly? Now, fly up ahead and see if you see any evidence of alien invaders."

"Uh, okay, boss."

Curly popped a green pill in his mouth and flew above Joker's head. Joker let him get a few feet above the ground before pulling out a gun and firing.

"BANG!"

The green kryptonite bullet pierced through his heart and Curly hit the ground with a moan and a thud. Curly died shortly after impact.

"That ought to teach you to eavesdrop on me. Good help is so hard to find these days!"


	6. Funny Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "YOU DID WHAT?"
> 
> Moe shuddered and hid behind his hands.
> 
> "Um, come here, please."

Joker sighed and tossed the crowbar away.

 _Maybe I should give the little guy a chance? Honestly, what could it hurt? If he turns out to be a little fink. I'll find out, and then we'll have so much fun, he'll wish he had never been born..._ Joker thought.

"Aha ha ha ha!"

"Um, boss, are you, uh, okay, you're standing out here in da cold laughing like a crazy person?"

"That's because I am a crazy person, Harley, oh, and just because you're my granddaughter doesn't mean I won't kill you if you call me crazy again, got it?"

Joker's tone got dark and angry; he pulled out a gun and aimed it at her.

"Sure, boss, sorry."

"Respect me, kiddo, if you enjoy breathing, capiche?"

Harley was trembling.

"Boss, I really am sorry..."

Joker pulled the trigger; out popped a "BANG" flag.

"Sorry for what? Why are we having this conversation?"

The wind blew across Joker's jacket.

"My it's cold out here. Harley, I'm going to catch a cold if I stay here. Lead me back to the cavern and fetch me some hot cocoa AND...in the future, don't stick your little red clown nose where it doesn't belong."

Joker's tone got dark again as he finished the last part of his sentence and patted his coat pocket.

"-you might catch a cold, too!"

Harley swallowed hard; she got the message.

Joker giggled to himself

_You know what they say about sparing the rod._

Joker followed Harley into the cavern, the other entrance of course, and left her in the kitchen while he went to check on Terry.

"I tell you what. It's your lucky day, kiddo. I'm not going to kill you. Of course...I didn't say anything about hurting you really bad now, did I?"

Joker looked at the pile on the floor.

_This kid could sleep through a nuclear blast_

"Get up you miserable excuse for a..."

Joker kicked the blankets, but his foot hit a rock.

"OW!"

Joker turned to the henchman that was supposed to be guarding him.

"Oh, Moe!"

"Yes, boss?"

"Where is the nice young talon I had tied up here?"

"Oh, he said he wasn't feeling well and needed some fresh air, so I let him out to take a walk."

"YOU DID WHAT?"

Moe shuddered and hid behind his hands.

"Um, come here, please."

Moe cautiously approached the Joker; he knew what was coming next.

"Nope, I'm not going to shoot you for making a mistake, at least not right now, so if that's what you're worried about, PICK UP THE PACE!"

Moe started running quickly toward Joker.

"Faster! Don't look at where you're going, just come to me!"

Joker pulled a banana peel out of his sleeve and strategically dropped it in front of Moe. As Moe ran toward Joker, his foot caught the peel and he slipped right into a jagged rock.

"Ooh! That's going to leave a bruise, or a concussion. Ewww...nope, we should just call the coroner."

Joker walked over to the apparently lifeless Moe.

"Moe? Moe? Aha ha ha ha ha! Don't tell me you thought I would let you live after that slip-up! Death by banana peel! Now, that's funny! I bet you didn't even know I could kill a person like that, did you Moe? Moe? Ah...what good is a joke if there's no one to see it?"

Joker examined Moe to make sure that he was indeed dead. Around here, people could surprise you. Once he was satisfied that was the case, he began cleaning up. Just because Harley was busy and he hadn't committed this type of murder in a while and just wanted to gloat and admire his work.

"Well, since there's no one to hear me unless you took a break from the Grim Reaper mocking you for being such a gullible boob to come back and watch me one final time, I guess I can tell you a little story. You know, the first time I used banana peels to murder people was when someone actually had the nerve to put me on trial..."

"Uh boss who are...OH MY...!"

Joker, without missing a beat, took out his gun and silenced the henchman. He fell next to Moe.

"Ah, Larry, nice of you to join us. I was just telling Moe here a story!"

Joker paused for a moment.

"Imagine the nerve of Batman; he thought he could get me to confess like a common street criminal...well, I showed him, and I didn't use any traditional weapons, either. I just made it all look like we were really unlucky."

Joker let out a giggle.

"..of course ANYTHING can be a weapon if you've got enough imagination. The judge and jury found out peanuts could be as effective as my Joker toxin when given to people with allergies, and one of the prosecutors found out just how slippery I was when...oh never mind, I'm sure you're not listening. I'm getting bored anyway. Rest in peace my old comrades!"

Joker took out a notepad with a checklist written on it and checked off "kill the henchmen who are named after the Three Stooges." Then he wrote another item on his to-do list.

"Find Batman."

Joker took his pen and struck through "Batman" and wrote "Terry."

 _I'm NOT going to start calling that kid BATMAN!_ Joker thought.

Terry laughed out loud to himself recalling how easy it was to convince Joker's henchman just to let him go. He had escaped the abandoned amusement park hours ago and was now running though downtown Gotham.

There was rustling in the ally. Terry hid himself.

"Hey, Terry. Hey, Terry!"

Terry remained hidden; he had no idea who the person calling his name was or what he wanted.

Two boys passed by where Terry was hiding. Both of them were wearing Jokerz paint.

"Terry, over here!"

The other boy responded to the phrase.

_Okay, they weren't talking about me. Maybe they haven't spotted me. What are they doing?_

Just then, another strange shadow dominated the night.

_More monsters?_

Terry watched as the shadow formed an oil slick and started following the two boys.

_Inque? What's she doing here?_

"McGinnissss"

Terry froze and thought about running.

_She's ink! Where will I run to? I need to find some water, quick!_

The puddle suddenly leaped on the taller boy and started attacking him.

"McGinnisss!"

_Did she mistake that Jokerz member for me?_

Terry ran from behind his post behind the corner.

_Now is my chance. I can get away now that she's distracted._

"Ahhhgh!" Terry heard a blood-curdling scream come from the ally. 

_What am I doing? Am I really going to let a person die? My Gotham or not, I'm still Batman. I still have to help them. I've done it without the bat suit before._

Terry darted from behind the building, ran toward the choking Jokerz member, and yelled to Inque.

"You wanted me gruesome? Here I am!"

_The dark puddle turned, looked at McGinnis, dropped the Jokerz member, and started chasing him._

_What am I doing?_

The Jokerz member did a double take.

"Did you just see? Was that...me?"

"Man, things have been strange enough tonight. We need to get to the hideout before that monster catches up to us!"

Terry ran, keeping just a few steps ahead of Inque.

"Terry, come here, precious!" Inque cooed.

_This isn't working. She's going to catch me if I continue to make myself obvious._

Terry changed his strategy and started running in erratic directions. He turned around and ran toward Inque, and then leaped behind a building.

Inque was having more trouble keeping up, but she was gaining on him.

Terry continued running, accidentally passing the Jokerz members.

"Hey! What are you doing back here! The monster's going to get us!" Terry, the Jokerz called him T, exclaimed.

"Just trust me, okay?" Terry shouted.

"I'm sorry, but I don't trust anyone, not Owlman, not the Court of Owls, not Red Hood, not anyone!"

T looked at Terry again. "I'm starting to think I can't even trust myself. Why do you look like me?"

"There's really no time to explain. We'll talk after we take care of-her!"

Inque rose above the teens like a tidal wave, ready to pounce.

"Oh really, and how do you propose we do that, hot shot?" T asked.

"You idiot, you brought that monster right back on us!"

"Hey, I was trying to do you guys a favor..." Terry said innocently.

"Some favor! That thing's going to cover us!"

"Not if you guys do exactly what I tell you!"

"Hey, we're Jokerz; we don't take orders from anyone!"

"Yeah, well..."

Terry sprinted ahead of them...

"Suit yourselves..." Terry yelled playfully.

The teens sprinted to catch up.

"Ha ha ha!" Terry laughed.

"Are you crazy! That monster nearly caught us!"

Inque took a swing, and Terry's shirt was covered in inky goo.

"Come on! Is that all you got?" Terry taunted.

"I'll get you!" Inque growled.

Terry ran and caught up with the Jokerz who ran ahead of him.

"How do we get this monster off our tail?" T asked.

"She hates water!"

"I'm sorry. Perhaps I shouldn't be making jokes at a time like this, but how do you know this monster, old girlfriend or something?" T teased. 

"Yeah...right..." Terry said. 

"You two are obviously twins, separated at birth." a Jokerz member commented, motioning lazily to Terry and T. 

Terry let out a nervous laugh.

"Anyway, help me lure her to the community pool, a sewer, anything water related."

"There's a public shower at our hideout." a Jokerz member volunteered. 

"We're taking an uninitiated outsider to our hideout?" T asked. 

"Um, given the circumstances, McGinnis, I really don't think we have a choice!" 

T stopped and opened his mouth as if to protest, but his friend didn't give him a chance. 

"Just keep following...that other guy who looks like you! I'll get the motorcycles."

"Okay, Spooks." T said flatly. 

Spooks ran to a garage about a block away. The two Terry's continued following each other, taking turns dodging and confusing the monster.

"No way, man, I need to know. Is this some kind of weird April Fool's prank? You look just like me!" T said. 

"Look, I said I would explain later; we need to worry about-her!" 

"Yeah, yeah, the monster. You must not be from around here. We deal with crazy monsters all of the time."

"Then, why do you look like you are about to wet your pants?" Terry asked with a grin. 

"I'm definitely not about to..."

"Then, don't look behind you!"

The terrified T disobeyed orders and looked back-nothing.

"Ha ha ha! Made you look!"

"Hey!"

Just then, a couple of motorcycles pulled up. It was Spooks and a really pretty looking girl.

"Dana?" Terry asked.

"That's not my street name, hot shot. What are you doing without your makeup? Get in!"

Just then, T showed up.

"Dana?"

"Okay, nice April Fool's prank. Which one of you is the real Terry?"

Terry leaped on to the motorcycle behind Dana.

"Hey!"

"There's no time to explain. We just need to get to the hideout."

"Why?"

As if on cue Inque appeared a few blocks down the road.

"...because of that!"

Without another word, Terry and the Jokerz gang high tailed it to the hideout on the motorcycles. Hopefully, they would be too fast for Inque to catch up.

After a few minutes of furious riding, the motorcycles stopped in front of a seemingly abandoned comedy club. They were at the Jokerz hideout.

"I have to ask this time. What is it with you guys and abandoned candy factories, toy shops, amusement parks, and comedy clubs?"

"These are the places the real Joker would hide, genius."

"Who wants to emulate him?"

"We do, because we're the Jokerz. Got a problem with that? Yeah, we could just lock you outside and let the monster eat you!"

"Guys, be nice! He's kind of cute!"

"Dana!"

Terry walked inside the Jokerz club. It was a little better than the amusement park. The lights were dim, the smell of cigarette smoke hung heavy in the air.

"Okay, sevens, remember Joker's wild!"

There were people playing cards at some tables.

"Brrack!"

"Okay, Rocco, you get the eight ball!"

People were playing pool.

For a few blissful nanoseconds, Terry almost forgot there was a monster outside.

Almost!

Suddenly Inque burst through the window...


	7. No more Inque Puns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I know everything there is to know about you, gorgeous, including who you are when your not parading around as a Clayface-meets dingy oil slick rip-off."
> 
> Joker paused and then continued. 
> 
> "A few drops of water will burn you like acid. Keep it up, and I'll make sure everyone knows your unfortunate little weakness and that you're worth more dead than alive. Do you really think crossing me is worth whatever Owlman's paying you? Your life may literally only be a few days long."
> 
> "Not if I kill you, first!"

Joker watched the scene through a monitor at his hideout.

"Oooh! Is that the Sci-Fi channel? I think we found our little bird already."

Joker watched Terry and T run inside of the public bathroom in a last ditch effort to hide from Inque. Terry turned the faucet on the bathroom sink-nothing.

"There's no water. She must have cut the main!"

"...or they're having it repaired."

"How can we beat her if there's no water?"

T wiped his face from perspiration, clearing it of most of the makeup.

Joker spat out the coffee he was drinking.

"TWO! That bat brat was telling the truth? Great. Well, THIS is a major inconvenience, but I'm bored anyway."

Joker took another sip of his coffee.

"Harley, we're going to have to go out tonight. I think I'm in the mood to give a certain ungrateful teenage bat some improv comedy lessons."

"Sure thing, Mr. J. I 'll get the car."

"Oooh, you better be happy I'm in a good mood, McGinnis!"

Joker arrived at his old abandoned comedy club hideout and kicked in the door, like he knew what he was doing.

"Where's Terry!" Joker yelled.

"Hey, man, nice Joker costume."

"Yeah, we almost thought you were the real thing!"

The Jokerz laughed.

"You aren't laughing at... _me_...are you?"

"It's just that it's so...real..."

"You like it? Thanks. I sewed it myself. I'm kind of a fan of the clown, you know."

"You look like a pathetic fan boy, old geezer."

Joker scowled. The man was obviously drunk and unaware of what he was saying, but still, the nerve of this inbred little... That was it; this guy was going to be the punchline. Right here; right now!

"I especially like the flower. You know the real Joker flower squirts acid and deadly gas. I couldn't afford that fancy stuff, so mine only squirts ginger ale. Want to try it?"

The foolish man wagged his head.

"Okay, just stand right there...a little to the left...perfect..."

The man stood within safe squirting range of the flower, and now it was time for the fun to begin.

Joker tapped a hidden release trigger and squirted a really corrosive acid straight into the man's face.

The man took a step back and yelped at the pain.

"Yep, if I were the real Joker, you'd be blind now."

The man was holding his eyes and crying.

"Here, let me help you up."

The man did his best to get away but accidentally grabbed Joker's joy buzzer. A sizzling couple of hundred thousand volts coursed through his body, but he was somehow still alive.

"Did I mention that the real Joker has a joy buzzer that can fry you like a chicken frikassee?"

Joker gave the trigger another press , out came the signature Joker venom.

The man took a deep breath.

"Well, if I were the real Joker, at least you would die smiling..."

Joker pressed the trigger again, out came ginger ale.

"Good for you that this thing only squirts ginger ale, eh old chap?"

Joker let out a nervous laugh, straightened his collar, and left the corpse in its original position.

Almost no one even noticed what happened. He remembered why he almost never committed public crimes anymore.

_Now, what did I come in here for?_

Just then, there was a rattling on the public washroom door. Inque and the two Terry's burst out.

_Oh, yeah...there's that little caveat._

Joker stood in front of the two Terry's apparently in a death battle with some Clayface wannabe.

Okay, what was your brilliant plan today? You know you usually stay out of these little squabbles.

Joker stood up and grabbed McGinnis by the arm. "Sorry toots, he's with me."

Inque reared up to Joker.

"You and what army?'

"Bend down, let me tell you something."

Everyone watched the scene.

"Okay, that settles it; he's crazy, no pretending there," Terry whispered to T.

Joker leaned over and whispered in what must have been her ear.

_______________

"Keep threatening me like that, sweets, and I'll make sure you're invited to a little pool party in a few days."

Inque looked at the tall dapper yet strangely un-intimidating man who was dressed like a clown. She was too young to remember the actual Joker, and she, like a lot of the younger crowd, never experienced the terror Joker and Owlman brought to her world. The damage was already done when she showed up; she grew up thinking a lot of things were normal, and she had done battle with people who were much more intimidating than the silly clown man--and won. She wasn't intimidated one little bit, even though he did mention water. It was a weakness of hers, but it didn't take a genius to figure that out. Many people had threatened to try to wash her away--their threats never came to fruition, and she had a lot of nasty surprises for her attackers. Before they could spray her with enough water, she could be half-way down their throats! 

She let out a laugh. Instinct had her want to treat this naive guy like a child and woo him until he realized the mistake he made and tried to run away in terror. Then, she would strike, kill, and make him an example. She had been in this business since she was a child and wasn't afraid of taking life. 

"What are you talking about?" Inque asked as she started curiously at Joker. 

"You know what I'm talking about, and don't think I won't do it. Your daughter already kind of hates you."

"How...do you know about my family?"

_Surprising that he knows about my family, but still, knowing isn't the same as being able to do anything. I've been threatened many times but they all ended the same way._

"I know everything there is to know about you, gorgeous, including who you are when your not parading around as a Clayface-meets dingy oil slick rip-off."

_He has to be joking._

Inque looked at Joker's pathetic little form, while he continued to hold his head dangerously close to her. 

_I could destroy him in one fell swoop. It wouldn't even be a challenge. Hee...ha....he claims to be Joker, maybe I'll let him play until he realizes the joke is on him...these pathetic little punks don't know anything!_

"A few drops of water will burn you like acid. Keep it up, and I'll make sure everyone knows your unfortunate little weakness and that you're worth more dead than alive. Do you really think crossing me is worth whatever Owlman's paying you? Your life may literally only be a few days long."

She kept listening and waiting for the right time to strike, but his lack of fear and sureness surprised her and kept her too curious to do anything. What he was saying all seemed like a lie. 

_This man's an idiot. No one has beaten Owlman, and if I needed to protection, he would most likely provide it. I'm one of his number one assassins after all. Still, though, this man's knowledge...is impressing. I want to hear a little more before I deliver my own punchline._

"Not if I kill you, first!" Inque growled as she reared up to intimidate the man who was quite literally in her face. 

All he did was laugh. 

 _Huh?_ Inque was confused and deeply intrigued. This was an experience she normally didn't have. Normally when she threatened people, they ran screaming for the hills. 

"Uh-uh, trust me, will NOT happen. FYI, I know water isn't your only weakness. I could kill you right now as we're talking; I'm just choosing not to."

Inque was under some kind snake charmer's spell. She couldn't help but listen to the man's bold threats. 

"Why don't you just do something to get rid of me, then?" She kept trying to see just one little bit of fear in his eyes. 

"You seem like a smart young woman, and I'm not one to resort to violence unless necessary, or maybe I think you could have um other uses."

_That's the first time anyone, even Owlman, has acknowledged me as human in this form. Still, though, he can't be the Joker. Joker was a real villain who didn't care about anyone, if those stories were even true. I'll find a weak point and exploit it. It would be much more satisfying to scare this man half to death and then kill him, let him realize how far he's gotten over his head._

"What do you care about the boys? Don't tell me the infamous Joker has grown soft in his old age?"

"Look, lady, if water will kill you, I would LOVE to see what Joker venom would do. Stop tempting me! I'm only leaving you alive because they think you're a scary monster, and I'm trying to prove a point."

Inque froze. An almost undetectable shiver went through her. 

_Wait...this guy's getting too bold...what if this man really is capable of...killing me? I don't even have time to run..._

Joker kicked her. The crowd let out a gasp.

"And FYI...I DON'T care about the boys. I'm just using them to get to Owlman who I hate a little bit more than everyone else. When he finds out I'm keeping them alive, he'll come after me. Hee hee hee!"

"You're crazy!" Inque hissed. She braced for an impact, a spray of Joker venom, a blast from a water gun, anything! 

"My dear, don't state the obvious." 

_Pull yourself together. If he were doing anything but bluffing, he would have done something by now besides talk!_

"I'm not even asking you to stop the chase. I'm just asking you wait until I'm done having my fun. Otherwise, I'll arrange for someone to leave you outside while it rains!"

Inque reared up again, trying her hardest to intimidate this crazy man, to convince herself it was all lies. 

_I can stop my chase, run away, and live...according to this loose cannon...what is his real game, and why am I getting scared?_

"I still don't think you know who you are talking to, clown!" Inque decided to spread out around Joker and look her most intimidating. 

"I don't think you know either, Vallerie." Joker said flatly. 

_What? That didn't faze him and no one's used my real name in years!_

"How do you know my name?" Inque growled. 

Joker let out a yawn.

_His mouth is open...I could just flow right in and end him...but there will be time for that later...I'm still too curious._

"I told you, I know everyone. Now, I've given you an invitation to live. I don't often do this kind of thing. Please don't tell me you still want to play hardball?"

"I could kill you in one fell swoop!"

"Is that on your mind? Go ahead and do it. It still won't save you from me."

_It won't save you from me...what?_

"You're bluffing, and you're making no sense!" Inque said in her most intimidating voice. 

"I'm...trying...to...give...you...a...chance; I don't like to kill people when it's not funny..."

Inque was feeling rage both at the man and at her fear. Who did this guy think he was? 

"You can't kill me!" With that, Inque reared up and lifted Joker off of the ground. 

"Oh, wow, you're actually going to make me...and you're such a great super villain, too!"

"Complement acknowledged. Now, say your prayers, clown!"

She thought she felt the clown shiver.  _I knew you were bluffing, pale_ _face. Now, I'll strike and burst you like a pinata._

Inque spat Joker out and reared back to finish him.

Joker let out another yawn and wiped a fake tear from his eye.

 _What? Why is he smiling?_ Inque's head began to flood with all sorts of doubts. 

"You know, I really hate to do this to you, so deadly, so pretty, so intelligent, so...fragile...I gave you a chance, kid."

At the end of that phrase Joker pulled out what looked to Inque like a high-powered water gun.

"You know, after being in this business for so long, you pick up certain tricks of the trade, girlie."

Inque recoiled at the realization of what the weapon was.

_If he weakens me, he may be able to kill me; there's no mercy in his eyes, only madness, only fear-inducing madness. Oh, who or what have I encountered tonight? If I struck now, would it do any good? Would he respond to me if I were to back off and apologize?_

"I wasn't being serious when I said I was going to kill you...or your boys," Inque pleaded.

"Too late, kiddo, but your old uncle Joker is going to let you have at least one more day in the sun if you get out, right now!"

Inque sped toward the exits as fast as she could. She jumped through the window. A huge blast of water came through the window after her and hit her arms, stinging them.

"Joker's a monster!" Inque shouted in anger. 

"...and remember, I'm STILL going to kill you; that's a promise!"

Inque shuddered at the thought. 

 _...and people say I'm a monster._ Inque shuddered again. 

_______

 

Joker took out his note pad and wrote, "kill Vallerie." on it.

"What an absolutely horrible waste of potential," Joker lamented.


	8. It's a gas!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker giggled and then took a deep breath of gas-filled air.
> 
> "All of the doors and windows are sealed. If you want to help your new friends escape, you'll need to find another way out, and you'll need to do all of that before too much of the Joker venom ends up in their blood streams. Oh, and don't try breathing the air. I've built up an immunity to my little toxic toy. Without the proper resistance, though, you'll find yourself a giggling little dying buffoon. Have fun, McGinnis!"

Joker turned back to the two Terry's and grabbed them both by the ears, twisting hard.

Terry was very surprised.

"Ow! Hey, what are you doing?"

"You two have been two very naughty boys, making your uncle Joker worry like that!"

"Ok, I know I'm not in my Gotham, but I will NEVER accept being your nephew!"

Joker looked at Terry and gave a sigh.

"Oh, how I've missed your witty repartee."

"Seriously, McGinnis?" the other Terry whispered.

"What?" Terry asked.

T gave an exasperated sigh.

Joker giggled.

"Man, stop it, that was epic! Real Joker or not, he is nobody to mess with!" a Jokerz member commented.

Joker was leaving when a heckler got his attention. 

"Aw, isn't that sweet, some old geezer cosplaying Joker decided to rescue two lightweights."

The other Jokerz members awwed in unison.

"You know the real Joker would NEVER help anyone."

Joker started laughing like a maniac.

Harley winced. She knew this wasn't good.

"Oh, no dey went a got Mr. J upset.'

"How can you tell?" Terry asked.

T elbowed Terry to be quiet.

"What is wrong with you? Do you know what this guy is capable of?" T whispered to Terry.

Joker kept laughing.

The Jokerz members decided to taunt him.

"Hey! The old geezer thinks something's funny!"

"Easy old man, you wouldn't want to hurt yourself."

"Hey, retard, nothing is that funny."

"Aha ha ha ha ha ha!"

"That's not good..." T whispered.

"That's Mr. J's death howl," Harley warned, "when he does dat usually a whole lot a people die."

"Hey, old man, what's so funny?" a curious Jokerz member asked.

"Who said anything about helping anyone? I just didn't want the monster getting bragging rights before I killed you all!"

With that, Joker pulled a remote out of his pocket and pressed a button. Steel doors slammed shut over the exits. Terry heard a hissing sound. Joker and Harley took Terry and T outside through a hidden exit.

"What's that?"

"Jokah venom." Harley said.

"Joke's on you!" Joker shouted.

Terry heard manic laughter and then gasping.

"It makes 'em laugh themselves to death." Harley whispered.

Terry froze. He was terrified, but was he really going to let the Joker kill a whole room full of people?

Acting quickly, Terry kicked Joker in the knee and ran back to the abandoned comedy club.

"Ow! What do you think you're doing? Harley, grab him!"

Two of the Harley's ran to catch Terry. T stayed with Joker out of fear of what he might do.

Joker sighed.

"He really does think he's Batman. We need a front row seat to this!"

T watched in horror as Joker turned and walked him back to the abandoned comedy club. Joker pressed a few buttons and immediately, he and T were back inside of the now airtight building.

"Help! You're going to kill me!" T pleaded.

Joker yawned.

"Most likely." Joker replied in a bored tone. 

T desperately held his breath as they made their way into the gas saturated rooms.

Harley caught up with them and, at the last minute, gave T a gas mask.

Terry looked around the room for ways to free the laughing and choking Jokerz members.

 _The doors are sealed. There has to be another way for me to get them out!_ Terry walked around the building and found one exposed window. Terry took a deep breath and prepared to break it. Unfortunately, Joker was waiting for him and pulled him inside.

"Thanks for pointing out that exit I left unchecked. Now the fun is really going to begin, bat brat!"

Joker giggled and then took a deep breath of gas-filled air.

"All of the doors and windows are sealed. If you want to help your new friends escape, you'll need to find another way out, and you'll need to do all of that before too much of the Joker venom ends up in their blood streams. Oh, and don't try breathing the air. I've built up an immunity to my little toxic toy. Without the proper resistance, though, you'll find yourself a giggling little dying buffoon. Have fun, McGinnis!"

Terry's thoughts were racing. _I guess Joker finally decided to show his true colors. I have to find a way out of here. Is there another way out?_

McGinnis walked around slowly with his hand cupped over his mouth. _If I breathe this stuff, I'll end up like them._ Terry thought to himself as he passed a group of people who were passed out from exhaustive laughter. _I don't have the suit. If I had the suit, I could fly, free everyone, and beat up that clown before he knew what hit him._

Just then, Terry saw something he might be able to use. There was an air vent over the bar. _If I can't fly, maybe I can climb._ McGinnis thought to himself. Terry sprinted to the bar, and climbed on a stool. It's too far, I can't reach it! Maybe if I stack two of these...

Joker yawned and looked at his watch. "Hurry, McGinnis, your audience isn't very lively anymore."

Terry climbed to the vent, opened it, and climbed inside. Once inside, he started gasping for air.

Joker laughed.

Terry surveyed the scene from below. Okay, I'm safe. Now, what can I do for everyone else?

A little alarm clock Joker set went off.

"Time's up! You haven't figured it out yet, have you?"

"What are you talking about, Joker?" Terry growled.

"Some detective you are! You must let that suit do your thinking, too, eh?"

"Huh?" Terry asked.

Joker walked to the vent where Terry was hiding and pointed a gloved finger to an inconspicuous looking light switch.

"The vents!" Terry exclaimed.

"Now climb down and try to do some real hero work!" Joker scolded.

Joker let out a cackle.

_Why is he helping me?_

Terry climbed down from the vent out of sheer curiosity. He was half sure this was going to be another trick, and he was going to end up in another death trap. _I don't know what this guy's game is._ Terry thought to himself.

Cautiously, Terry made his way to the switch, a few people were still laughing but most had passed out from exhaustion already. Terry's hand reached the switch, and he flipped it.

The vent came on, sucking most of the toxic gas to another room.

McGinnis took another gasp of air and then passed out.

The last thing he felt were Joker's white gloved hands grabbing him roughly by the shoulders. 

Terry woke up in the backseat of Joker's car.

"Some hero you are! The real Batman would have figured out that trap with time to spare!"

"Look! I get that I'm not as good as Bruce! Everyone has to remind me of that, including his villains apparently! Where are we going anyway?"

"Back to the hideout. Aren't you worried about all of those innocent lives you let perish in that unfortunate gas leak? That would really bother Batman"

"I tried to save them. You were there, too. Why didn't you help me sooner?"

"Are you seriously asking me that? I don't know, let's see...because I regularly kill people for fun...because I'm a super villain's super villain, because it was my trap AND...because I wanted them dead. Nobody should be able to mock me and live!"

Terry sighed. _Bruce, I wish you were here. You would never let me get in this far over my head. I don't have the bat suit. I'm in an unfamiliar place, and this clown has made a fool out of me._


	9. Love? sick!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terry gets bitten by the love bug, courtesy of Harley's perfume. That's an interesting way to ruin an escape plan.

Terry woke up with a splitting headache; the memories of what happened came back to him.

 _Jokerz gang, Inque and Joker, tried to escape, caught by Joker again...Owlman, other dimension, don't know how to get home, don't know who to trust, weirdest experience ever...weirdest dream ever?_ McGinniss could only hope.

Slowly, he opened his eyes, worried about what he might see.

Blurry red and black diamond shapes on a black and red canvas filled his field of vision.

_Huh?_

"Are you wake, McGinniss?"

"Harley? I'm not...sure."

Harley giggled.

Terry gave his eyes time to adjust. Two women in red and black jester's costumes were standing over him.

"I'm here, cutie." one of the Harley's said.

McGinniss gave a brief annoyed look.

The Harley's giggled at his confusion.

"What happened?"

"After all that excitement, Mr. J thought you two needed a good nap..."

"I was drugged again?"

One of the Harley's nodded her head.

Terry, still groggy, rubbed his head.

This was becoming a regular occurrence. This was probably the fourth time he'd been slipped sleeping drugs since he was kidnapped by the clowns.

"Please, I want...I want to go home..."

"You can make yourself at home, here, at least until it's time for your next nap." Harley said.

She was a little more cheerful than the occasion called for, for some reason.

Terry yawned. Whatever they were giving him made him feel like sleeping all of the time. It was also really hard to think. He wanted to run away, but part of him wondered...

 _What's the use? If I run away, won't they just catch me again? I don't have the suit. I can't really get away. If I get away, some monster might catch me. For once, I don't know what to do._ Terry thought.

Terry went back to his bed, sat down, let out a sigh, and put his head in his hands.

"You aren't crying, are you, McGinnis?" one of the Harley's asked. She seemed a little younger and to Terry's aching head more annoying than the one he met at first.

"No." Terry said firmly.

"Delia, I need you to help me with something, please."

"Coming, Deidra."

 _There's something familiar about their voices...the Dee Dee twins?_ Terry thought to himself.

Terry felt throbbing in his temple and he went back to trying to nurse his aching head. Pondering about the people at home would have to wait.

"You probably need some water." Terry heard a voice say. It was Denise...Harley.

Terry lifted his aching head and reached for the cold glass.

 _Gee, thanks for your hospitality.._.Terry thought with a huff.

This was the first thing he had been offered to eat or drink since he'd been forced to stay with the clown gang. At this point, he didn't even care if it was poison.

Terry took the glass and started drinking greedily. Once he was finished, he felt the effects of the sleeping medicine again. This time, though, he tried to fight it.

"I'm hungry. Do you guys have anything to eat?"

"Are you going to trust us not to poison you?" Terry heard a familiar voice say. It was Delia again.

"um...yeah..." Terry said it slowly, not sure of himself.

"I was just about to make something anyway." Harley said.

Harley and Delia went to the kitchen, leaving Terry in the room.

Terry walked around again, trying to keep himself awake.

He noticed T sleeping on the floor. Terry walked over to give him a firm shake.

"Hey, wake up." Terry whispered.

"'Huh?" T said.

"Let's try to figure...a....way...out....of...here..." Terry said as he started to fall asleep again.

Terry dropped on to T like a sack. T responded with a less than polite shove.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing? Get off of me!"

"Huh? I'm awake...I'm awake...is it time for school?"

"No, moron...it's time to..."

T saw a fresh glass of ice cold water and quickly grabbed it.

"...wake up!"

Terry who was half asleep suddenly felt a very cold sensation running down his back and jolted awake.

"Hey! What did you do that for?"

T let out a laugh.

"Oh, come on, Sleeping Beauty, I couldn't resist!"

Terry shook himself and let out a sigh, then smiled a half smile and gave a fake chuckle.

T fished in the couch and pulled out a pair of water guns.

_Where did he even get those? Okay...fun time's over..._

Terry put up a hand and put on his Batman voice.

"This is no time to play games; we need to find a way out of here." Terry whispered.

"Have any plans?" T asked, still holding a water gun. 

"It looks like the clowns are distracted; we might be able to find an exit."

"Then what, McGinnis? Even if we find a way to leave Joker's hideout, then what?"

"Then we find some place safe..."

"Where? The owl would like nothing more than to kill me...and he rules this place, McGinnis. If you think Joker is scary, you should meet him."

"There has to be a way...do you want to stay here? There's no telling what they'll do to us!"

"I don't really care anymore...really." T said with a sigh.

Just then, the door opened. It was Harley with a plate of sandwiches.

"Besides, they seem nice enough to me..."

Terry studied her. Her smile looked so...fake...almost like it was painted on...

His stomach growled loudly.

Harley let out another giggle.

"You sound like you haven't eaten in days!" T said.

"I haven't..." Terry said carefully.

"Sorry 'bout not lettin you have anything earlier. Grandpa wanted you ta haf an empty stomach for some tests."

Harley's explanation made Terry mentally lose his appetite.

 _Tests? I'm like a lab rat here; what have they been doing to me?_  Terry thought.

He started feeling that overpowering sleepiness again, and his stomach growled loudly again.

"Are you gonna eat or do I haf ta stuff it down your throat, Terry?"

Harley said it playfully, not like a threat.

Terry cautiously picked up a sandwich and sniffed it. He didn't want to take the chance.

One of the Harley's giggled.

"You really don't trust us, do you?"

"If we were gonna poison it, you would never know!" Harley said confidently.

Terry stood there holding the sandwich and about to fall asleep.

Without another word, Harley picked up a sandwich and walked over to Terry. She held it over his mouth like a person might hold a dog biscuit in front of a dog. At first, Terry didn't notice, until he smelled her perfume.

 _What is that? That is the most...wonderful smell I've ever smelled in my life!_ Terry thought to himself.

"Oh Puddin, will you be a good boy and eat something for Harley?"

Terry sleepily opened his eyes.

"Mmm...for you, I would do anything you want..."

Without protest, Terry took a sandwich and swallowed it in one gulp.

The other girls giggled.

"That's better..." Harley said. She reached over and patted Terry on the head like he was a child and then gave him an air kiss on the cheek.

She was so close. Terry took another whiff of her perfume or whatever she was wearing. It smelled nice, a welcome change from the sweat and stink of the moldy old room they were being kept in.

"We're going to leave you two alone with those sandwiches; if you need us, we'll be close by."

"Don't go too far away, okay?"

T grabbed another sandwich and quickly put it in his mouth.

Terry had other things on his mind.

Terry let out a sigh.

"Harley is so wonderful; wouldn't you agree?

"What?" T said through a mouth full of sandwich.

"I need to find a way to spend more time with her..."

"I thought...you were interested...in leaving..." T said between bites.

"Why would I ever want to leave?" Terry asked.

T slapped his own forehead. _This...just keeps getting crazier._ T thought.

The bewildered T watched as Terry made his way to the kitchen.

Terry's quivering hand reached the doorknob and attempted to turn it, only to be zapped by a sizzling few thousand volts

Terry fell backwards and grasped his hand.

T walked up and observed the scene.

"Are...you okay?"

"What happened? Terry asked as he sat up and nursed his aching hand and head.

"They've got this place booby trapped, and neither one of us have our suits..."

"Of course we should have suspected traps."

"We could watch the exits and see how things work around here..."

"...or we could just try the windows..."

Terry looked at T again...

"I thought you said you didn't really care about leaving..."

"Think about the context... " T said, "...and don't take everything I say as the truth."

Terry and T bolted toward one of the windows, swiftly and quietly. T cautiously touched the window, no alarms went off and he didn't receive a shock. Terry attempted to open it. Suddenly, a little alarm that sounded like a dog barking went off.

"Woof, woof, woof! Woof, woof woof!"

Terry and T stepped out onto the yard only to come face to face with a surprise.

Staring them down were three angry-looking cackling hyenas. They had matted green fur and glowing red eyes.

 _Mad science experiments?_ Terry thought.

"What's the plan, McGinnis?" T asked.

"I didn't really plan on this..." Terry growled in his Batman voice.

T briefly remembered the words of a friend..."no plan... sounds like a plan to me!"

"Then I guess it's time to improvise..." T whispered

Without warning, one of the hyenas lunged. T grabbed what looked like a stick and broke one of its legs

Terry watched in fascinated horror as his double chased off the hyenas with little more than an old discarded baseball bat.

 _Where did he learn how to do that?_ Terry thought to himself.

Once the hyenas were down, T took a silent graceful bow to an imaginary audience.

Terry couldn't stop staring.

 _I kind of wish I was him..._ Terry thought.

"Eh-heh-um..." Terry heard someone clearing her throat in an exaggerated manner.

Slowly he turned to look. It was that short Harley again.

"I believe it's past your bedtime..." the Harley said with a wicked smile as she fingered some kind of canister.

Something about that annoying voice...it kind of woke him up and made him feel like he could win...

Terry picked up a large rock and held it behind his back and waited for the Harley's to make their move.

Another short Harley appeared out of nowhere...

 _Come on, Bozos._ Terry thought.

The first short Harley made her move, predictably pulling the tab on the mysterious canister and throwing it in Terry's direction.

Terry threw his rock and intercepted it, turning it back toward the short Harley.

The canister started smoking, and the two short Harley's couldn't get away fast enough. When the smoke cleared, they were lying on the ground fast asleep.

"No, I believe it's past, yours..." Terry said darkly with a smirk.

Terry heard the sound of slow clapping and turned to face the source; it was T.

"Good work, McGinnis..." T said sarcastically, "now they are definitely going to come after us."

Terry looked and could see shadows. It looked like more Harley's and some kind of animal, maybe dogs, maybe more mutant hyenas.

"Not if we run...come on!" McGinnis said confidently.

"Where do you think you're going?" Harley yelled.

Terry froze and blushed; it was Denise...

"That beautiful voice...that lovely perfume..." Terry cooed.

"Oh no! Be a lovesick puppy somewhere else! This is not the time...or the place..." T growled.

"Hands up, McGinnis!"

Terry put his hands up in mock surrender and puckered his lips for a kiss. Instead, he received a spray of that sleeping gas.

T watched Terry drop into a pile of snoozing uselessness while trying to formulate his own plan of attack...or escape, whichever was most beneficial.

Just then, one of the Harley's literally handed him another surprise, a smiling purple bomb with a timer set to two seconds. He couldn't get rid of it before it started spewing a familiar green vapor. T couldn't help himself; he dropped to the ground and started helplessly laughing. He managed to kick it out of his way, but it was too late.

The bomb rolled over to Terry and his sleeping form involuntarily took a lung full. He started coughing and laughing and coughing.

____________________

Harley watched the pathetic scene with mild amusement.

"Did you make sure dat wasn't da strong stuff?" Denise asked.

"Nah, this stuff was carefully watered down. They'll laugh until they pass out from exhaustion but it won't kill 'em..." Delia explained.

"You sure seem concerned about those two; do you like them or something?" Deidra asked.

"Mr J wants 'em alive...but I will admit that the one over there..." Denise said as she pointed to Terry "...is kind of cute."

Deidra smiled and let out a little chuckle.

Harley looked back at her with an annoyed scowl.

"Go get your sista 'n tell 'er ta bring da boys in. Don't forget da gas masks."

"Harley and Terry sittin in a tree...K-I-S-S-I-N-G..."

Harley cleared her throat loudly again.

"An stop singin dat or I'll let you play wit da hyenas again. Remember, you two are only my half sisters...and grandpa barely knows you exist."

Harley shot Deidra and Delia a warning glare.


	10. Dead Inque

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inque continued trying to get out of the warehouse. Normally, she would have just slipped between the cracks, but the floor was coated with some kind of soapy solvent that was making it nearly impossible for her to move. As she continued struggling, she realized the sinister nature of the trap. The solvent was getting colder and colder as the water fell on it. Soon, little drops of her were frozen to the floor of the warehouse. If this continued, she would be nothing but a pile of icy droplets.

Rain was falling on Vallerie in her ink form. She was locked in a warehouse without a roof, courtesy of a group of Jokerz playing a prank. They even left a note letting her know about it.

Just then, her cell phone rang.

"Oh, hey Inque, lovely weather we're having, isn't it? Aha ha ha."

"Joker!"

"I warned you, but nope, you didn't listen, ink for brains."

"You're dumber than you look; you know water doesn't kill me."

"Yeah, but it really slows you down. Oh, I know how to kill an ink blot. I just thought letting you slowly melt away as you realize I own your little life would be...funny. A lot of people underestimate me, doll face, and very few live to tell the tale."

"I will get out of here!"

"I highly doubt it. Toodles!"

Inque continued trying to get out of the warehouse. Normally, she would have just slipped between the cracks, but the floor was coated with some kind of soapy solvent that was making it nearly impossible for her to move. As she continued struggling, she realized the sinister nature of the trap. The solvent was getting colder and colder as the water fell on it. Soon, little drops of her were frozen to the floor of the warehouse. If this continued, she would be nothing but a pile of icy droplets.

She struggled and struggled as she watched gallons of herself wash away and instantly freeze to the floor. The water was like acid, burning every part of her that it touched.

Soon, Inque was nothing more than a collection of frozen puddles.

A few hours later, a truck came and carefully vacuumed up the puddles, still emulsified by the solvent, after they melted.

Joker watched the whole thing from a hidden security camera he had planted.

One it was done, he smiled to himself and then let out a sigh.

"Phase I complete. Now, on to phase II."

Joker sighed again and picked up the phone.

"Hello, is this the Wayne Chimera Institute? Yes, this is the doctor who did the splice job on Vallerie, better known as Inque. She's in route to you now. I've found her DNA to be unstable; the procedure has to be reversed at once or she may die and you might be looking at a law suit!"

"We'll take care of it right away!" a man on the other end said.

"I've ordered all of the necessary procedures already. I just need you to check her in; we'll do the rest."

"Right away, doctor." the man said.

Joker put down the phone and let out a satisfied cackle.

"You'll be much easier to kill after a little makeover!"

Vallerie woke up. The night before was almost a blur.

"Where am I?"

She groggily turned over and opened her eyes to let them adjust. It was a white hospital room. She was hooked up to all kinds of monitors and fluids.

"What the-"

She tried to turn into Inque, but nothing happened.

"What?"

Frantically, she tried again.

Nothing.

No, no, this can't be happening! She thought to herself.

Just then, there was a knock on the door.

"Room 2, you have a visitor."

The Joker waltzed in wearing a black trench coat.

"Ah! I see our little operation was a success!"

"What did you do to me?"

"I cured you of your uh unfortunate little malady, my lady."

"I didn't want to be cured, you fool!"

Joker pulled out his gun.

"Ah ah, temper, temper...I told you, I own you. I guess you didn't believe me."

"You're not going to kill me!"

Joker pulled the trigger, and a bang flag popped out; Joker giggled, "there; you'll be dead by midnight!"

Inque stood up, but she was caught by one of her IV lines and winced in pain.

"You're movements aren't as fluid anymore, are they?"

She tried again and managed to land a karate kick in Joker's stomach.

"crazy clown!"

"Ow! See? You really did have potential! Alas, it has to end like this. I guess you're disappearing, Inque."

Joker let out another giggle before running out of her room.


	11. A Dance of Owls and Clowns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker saw Batman, or at least he thought it was Batman, right in front of him. Joker was about to press a button that would launch a toy box full of heat-seeking missiles when the sight he saw stopped him. There was a huge metal object behind a man wearing a cape with gaudy foil feathers.

A rain soaked Joker returned to his hideout. The two Terry's were collapsed in the middle of the floor with huge smiles on their faces. 

"Harley, what happened?" 

"Oh, nothing, Mr. J. They kept tryin ta escape so we gave 'em some sleeping drugs...mixed with Jokah venom...not enough ta kill 'em, though."

"Are you sure?" Joker asked. The kids were as still as stone. He moved one of them with his feet. 

Terry let out a cough, followed by a loud laugh. 

Joker checked his pulse.

"Hmm...Harley, keeping people alive isn't something I'm used to doing, and it's apparently harder than it looks." 

Harley let out a little chuckle.

"Especially those two, because they just can't keep their noses out a trouble." 

"That makes at least two of you, Harley!"

Joker scowled at her and balled up his fists. Harley braced for a blow, but it never came. 

Joker playfully grabbed her by the arm and sat her down. 

"Oh, grandpa is so proud of you, using Joker venom all by yourself! You know, grandma would have probably enjoyed seeing you work, too, Harley."

Harley beamed a little at the thought of her grandmother. 

"You know, she was a wonderful woman. We had our up's and down's, but she always came back. Well, that was until the owl." 

"You've told me this story already, grandpa J."

Harley sounded less aching to please and more like an impatient teenager. 

"You miserable ungrateful little brat! Would you just be quiet and listen? I don't care if you've heard it a thousand times. You should consider yourself lucky you're getting to learn anything about me. Why, in my day, people would have given just about anything to find out things about me!"

Joker's expression melted into a scowl, and Harley silently apologized. 

"I know grandpa J, sorry." 

Her voice still had notes of disinterest, but he was willing to dismiss it as tiredness. 

Such disrespect. It's an absolute wonder I haven't killed her already! Joker thought to himself. 

Joker straightened his expression. 

"There's a good girl. Anyway, getting back to my story. Harley always came back until the owl showed up. There were two birds, see, well one was a bat, but anyway. For a long time, your grandmother and I were plagued by a bat that always spoiled our fun. Instead of just killing the bat, we decided to turn it into a game. We were trying to kill it in the funniest way possible, so of course, we let it live a lot of the time. Then, the owl came. It hated the bat as much as we did, and it told us that it would help us catch the bat once and for all, so we agreed." 

Joker paused. 

"Never make deals with owls or those who wear their clothing, Harley. Oh, the owl killed the bat alright, and Harley and the others, and it almost killed me, but I escaped before it could finish the job. The owl was a visitor from another world, an alien as it were. It didn't belong here, and it killed nearly everything it touched and sent me into hiding." 

Joker paused again and made sure Harley hadn't fallen asleep. 

"...but hide and seek gets so old. Soon, I wanted to play a new game and this time the owl was the target. I didn't really want to kill him; I wanted to make him suffer fates worse than death if possible, even though I will admit that being rid of him once and for all would be nice. I found out the owl was a bigger pest than the bat ever dreamed of being." 

"...so that's why you brought them back to our hideout, to mess with Owlman?" Harley asked innocently. 

"Smart girl. Yep, that walking oil slick is a well-known assassin for the owl, and I caught her trying to put an end to the two boys earlier."

Joker let out a little giggle. 

"What is it?" Harley asked. 

"If anyone would have told me that I was going to ever be a part-time crime fighter, I would have laughed in their faces, Harley. You don't understand the joke; you would have had to have been there. Your grandpa was once one of the scariest criminals Gotham City had ever seen..." 

Joker proceeded to go into a long monologue about how things were once upon a time.

"It was a typical day in Gotham, Harley, you know, your grandmother, and I had just robbed a bank and put several of the tellers and patrons out of their misery in the process..." 

Joker started having a flashback. 

"Here's the loot, Mr. J." 

"Put it in the back, Harley. We've got to meet an old friend."

"Batsy?" Harley asked innocently. 

Joker nodded. 

As if on cue, Batman showed up and jumped on top of the car. 

Joker sort of rolled his eyes. He had prepared for that old trick and could have easily ejected Batman off of the hood, but that wouldn't be a lot of fun, so he let Batman ride for a little while, pretending he didn't know what was going on. 

"Pudding, Batman is on top of the car." Harley explained. 

"I know that already." 

Harley looked at a special camera placed on top of the vehicle. 

"Hmm...I wonder how he's holding on..." Harley said. 

Joker more or less ignored her. 

"If we keep letting him ride, we're going to lead him straight to our hideout." 

"Yes, Harley, but think of all of the fun we can have with him once he's there!" 

Soon, they were at the warehouse. It was showtime, as usual, or so they thought. 

When Joker and Harley got out of the car, they were met with a bright flash of red and blue light. Joker and Harley immediately covered their eyes. At first, Joker thought it was just Batman playing a trick to get them to surrender. Not a chance of that happening without a fight. Joker saw Batman, or at least he thought it was Batman, right in front of him. Joker was about to press a button that would launch a toy box full of heat-seeking missiles when the sight he saw stopped him. There was a huge metal object behind a man wearing a cape with gaudy foil feathers. 

"Batsy? New fashion choices?" Joker asked. 

A stern voice on the other end answered, "no!" 

"No need to be rude about it!" Harley yelled as she exited the vehicle with her mallet.

"Harley, stay away from him!" Batman's voice warned. 

"Mr. J, what's going on? It looks like there are two batmen." 

"One of them is a fake." 

"I'm guessing it's the one with the golden feathers." 

Joker turned around to see the other batman still clinging to his car. 

"Hey Batsy, care to introduce us to your friend?" 

"He's not a friend." 

"Long time no see, Bruce." Owlman said. 

"Bruce?" Joker asked. 

"...as in Bruce Wayne the billionaire?" Harley asked. 

Joker spun around and pointed at Batman. 

"I KNEW you looked familiar!" Joker said.

"ha ha ha ha ha ha" Owlman started an evil cackle. 

Harley started cowering and grabbed on to Joker for comfort.. 

"Mr. J, that laugh sounds scary, almost scarier than yours." 

Joker started growling. 

"Look, whoever or whatever you are. I think you better go back to your spaceship or whatever it is you just climbed out of and leave the three of us alone! We were just about to have some fun until you showed up." 

"Oh, I can be plenty of fun, Joker." 

A chill went down Joker's spine. It felt really weird to hear those words in Batman's voice. 

Batman was looking around nervously. He could hear whirring machinery in the distance.

"Harley, Joker, get down!" 

Suddenly, a barrage of fireballs raced toward the trio.

Batman hid behind a tree, and Joker and Harley followed. 

Joker somehow found himself beneath the soft leather of Batman's cape. 

"..so this is how the other half lives..." Joker said with a giggle. 

"Quiet. Quiet. He'll hear you!" Batman warned. 

"Oh, Bats, it's moments like this that make me happy to have you as one of my mortal enemies." 

"Shut up and stay down!"

"B-man, who is that?" 

"He calls himself the owl." Batman said. 

Joker took a remote out of his pocket and pressed a blinking red button. 

"I don't care if he calls himself King Tut." 

With that, a special place on the warehouse opened and hundreds of heat-seeking missiles hurdled toward the owl. 

"I was saving those for you, Bats, but you know how much I hate party poopers." Joker said with a laugh. 

The missiles looked like they were going to hit their target, but just as they got within inches of it, they exploded without doing any damage. 

"Huh?" 

"He has some kind of force field around himself and his ship." 

"I'm sorry we had to postpone our play date, Bruce, but it looks like Harley and I have other accounts to settle." 

Without another word, Joker pulled out a machine gun and started walking toward the giant metal thing behind the guy in the suit with the glistening feathers. 

"Mr. J, wait up!" 

A giant blue light shot out from the ship and grabbed Harley and Joker and pulled them in. 

Harley and Joker looked around. 

"Wow, I've never been in a real live spaceship before." 

"Me neither, Harley, not until now anyway." 

Evil Batman's voice spoke again. 

"Harley, Joker, I've been expecting you."

"Give me one good reason I shouldn't blow your head off, bat fake!" 

The figure started laughing maniacally. 

"Mr. J, I've got a bad feeling about this guy." 

"I like you already." Evil Batman said. 

"The feeling's not mutual." 

"Look, I have a proposition for you. Help me with some of my ahem...goals, and I'll help you ruin Batman."

"...and if we refuse..." 

"Simple, you die." 

Joker let out a yawn. 

"You need to make it more interesting than that. Do you have any idea how many death threats I receive on a regular basis?" 

"I assure you this is not a threat; it is a promise." 

Harley rolled up her sleeves and got ready to pounce. She looked like she was going to try to beat the guy up with her bare hands. 

"Well, it sounds like a threat to me, and nobody threatens to hurt my Mr. J." 

Joker put his hand up, "easy, tiger..." 

Joker smiled and whispered to Harley. 

"Ooh...this owl guy doesn't know who he is dealing with. I'll join his little crusade, but he's going to be the punchline for threatening me and treating me like some low level goon. We'll turn on him right after he catches Batman for us."

Joker and Harley plastered those trademark fake smiles on their faces and then turned back to Owlman. 

"We thought it over, and we're interested in this proposition. What do we have to do?" 

Owlman smiled and rubbed his gloved hands together. 

"I thought you would never ask..."

Without another word, Owlman pressed some buttons on the ship, and the world they were in disappeared.


	12. Goodbye, Bruce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker heard the gun click as Jason took the safety off.
> 
> "Do you really think killing me is going to solve anything, boy blunder?"
> 
> Jason smiled. It was an evil maniacal smile.
> 
> "Yeah, I do."
> 
> "BANG!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: 
> 
> Batjokes sort of implied or alluded to...

Loud snoring tore Joker away from his flashback. Joker looked around. Harley was sound asleep in her chair, but she was still sitting up straight. Joker giggled. Harley was a very obedient child when properly persuaded. She wasn't making all of that noise, though. Joker looked at the floor. One of the Terry's was snoring away, a smile on his face. The Joker venom had apparently started to wear off. The other Terry, though, was still as still as stone. 

Joker walked over to him and gave him another prod with his foot. 

"Get up." 

Terry didn't move. 

Normally, death didn't upset Joker. He had dealt with it most of his life, or at least as long as he could remember. 

Seeing this kid lie so still, though, started to bring back memories. This was how Bruce looked when he was buried. The kid looked a lot like Bruce. 

Joker directed one of his henchmen to take the kid to a bed and let him lie there until they could determine if he was going to recover. 

Just to punish himself a little more, Joker decided to go back to the bedroom and look at the ghastly sight. These things were usually pretty to him; he used to brag about his smiling corpses being works of art. There was nothing pretty about a dead Batman, though. Joker pushed away a memory of Bruce while looking at Terry. 

Joker sat at the edge of the bed and checked Terry's pulse. Nothing. Dead, most likely. 

It was rare moments like these where he sort of wished he would have saved some of that anti-toxin Batman used to manufacture all of the time. He never kept antidotes for his poison because he almost never needed them for anything. The poison in the right concentration was meant to be a certain death sentence; that's the way it was supposed to work. It was never administered accidentally in the right hands. 

The right hands...yeah right, what a joke. 

Joker started having another flashback. 

"That cloud over the city. It's Joker venom!" 

"...but I didn't do it this time, Batman, you have to believe me." 

"I don't believe he's telling the truth. I say we end him for all of the pain he's caused us and countless others, all of the lives he's taken!" 

"Jason, put on a gas mask and see if you can find the source of this leak. I'll stay with the Joker and make sure he doesn't go anywhere." 

"Honestly, Bruce, sometimes I think you love that clown more than me!" 

Batman put his hands tightly around Joker's neck. 

"Jason, I hate this man, and I'll snap his neck this time if I find out that he's responsible." 

"Is that a promise?" 

"Yes." 

Joker quivered under Batman's iron grip. 

"Bruce, please listen to me." 

"You are scum, Joker. Every time I'm reminded of all of the atrocities you've committed, all of the lives you've taken, all of the pain and suffering you've caused I...I...ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

Batman's gas mask relaxed due to the tension his body was experiencing. This caused some of the gas to leak in. 

"Well, that's a strange way to react, Bruce." Joker said. 

Joker was still bristling from being accused of something he didn't do, and having Batman threaten to kill him was just infuriating right now. 

"You know, even though it wasn't my joke, I kind of want to just let you die for what you almost did to me." 

Batman didn't respond, he just kept laughing and laughing. 

"On your feet, Bruce." 

No response. 

"Look, you need to get up. If you die right now, your little friends are going to think that I killed you, and I might be a mean untrustworthy dangerous mass murdering psychopathic killer, but I still don't play the game like this. This is so pedestrian and anti-climatic. I might as well have just tried to shoot you." 

Joker grabbed Bruce by the hand. 

"Come on." 

Reluctantly, Bruce followed him, laughing all the way. 

Joker sighed. 

"Don't you have any of that anti-venom you usually carry?" 

"ha ha...I...used...the...last...batch...I...had. Bat girl was exposed...to...the...poison...earlier." 

Joker flashed a manic malicious grin. 

"You wouldn't know the formula for it, would you?" 

"ha ha...I'm...sorry...I...can't...give...that...to...you...and...I...think...you...know...why." 

"Well, I'm the super villain clown chemist, and you're the one dying of one of my best jokes. Suit yourself, though." 

"ha ha...you...really...are...a...monster...you...routinely...make...poisons...for...which...there...is...no...cure, leaving...the...burden...on...me. I...don't...know...how...many...of...your...hellish...concoctions...I've...had...to...reverse...engineer...do...you...really...think...I...would...trust...you...enough...to..." 

Each word was labored and required a heavy gasp just so he had enough air to make sound.

"Okay, I get it, but Bruce, you really shouldn't be trying to give me lectures right now. You need to save your breath. The constant laughter won't allow you to breathe well. That's not what will kill you, though, not on this particular batch." 

Bruce let out some more pathetic uncontrollable laughter. Joker rolled his eyes. At this point it just wasn't funny.

"Bruce, get one of your kids to go to Wayne Manor and make more antidote for you. You already have the formula."

"Owlman's...at...Wayne...Manor, but...I...sent...Nightwing...to...try...to...infiltrate...it..."

Joker slapped his forehead and cursed under his breath. Why did he ever trust Owlman? Here he was facing the prospect of having to say goodbye permanently to his favorite toy in the world, all because of that stupid owl. Plus, this death was just sad...not funny. 

"Look, try to trust me for once. We're headed back to my hideout. I have a lab you can use there. Maybe you can synthesize your antidote there?"

"you...really...think...I...trust...you...enough...to...follow...you...to...your...hideout?" 

"Look, bat breath, you're dying. What other choice do you have? I could have just left you, given my trademark flourish and crazy clown cackle, and bid you all adieu. You know me well enough, Bats. You know that I want this to end a different way." 

"What...are...you...talking...about?" 

"Oh, Bats..." 

Joker sighed, leaned in, and gave Bruce a hug. 

"Oh, Bats, I love you...or maybe I hate you...either way, I kind of need you, at least for now." 

"normally...I...don't...need...you, Joker..." 

"I think you do today, though." 

Joker lead a very sick Bruce Wayne back to his hideout. 

Bruce was constantly laughing and gasping for air. Soon, he was holding parts of his body due to muscle aches from not getting enough oxygen. Joker noticed Bruce holding his breath to try to keep from laughing. 

"Don't be afraid to laugh, Bruce."

"what?" 

Joker yawned. 

"The laughter isn't what kills you, kiddo, although the pain that comes with it might make you wish you were dead. You should just let yourself laugh, because you still need to get as much air as you can. It's easier to breathe if you just let yourself laugh."

"I...thought...the...expression...was...die...laugh..." 

Bruce started choking, coughing, and gasping. 

"Shhhh...Bruce, don't say anything else." 

Joker continued walking and then he realized what Bruce was trying to say. 

"Yes, the expression is 'die laughing,' and that's essentially what happens, but the laughter still isn't what kills you...in fact, the poison could work without causing maniac laughter at all. It's just a nice touch for a clown, though, n'est pas?" 

Bruce continued laughing and trying to walk. The cramps were getting worse. 

"The killing agent is actually a neurotoxin. The victim finally suffers paralysis in some very important muscles, and they get that beautiful little trademark grin to take to the funeral home." 

Joker let out a giggle. 

"you're...sick..." 

"Not as sick as you will be if you keep trying to talk. Stop already." 

Bruce attempted to close his mouth and straighten his face, but of course the venom wouldn't allow that for long. 

Joker almost burst out laughing watching Bruce try to control himself. 

"You just aren't going to listen to me, are you? Let go. Stop fighting it. A little laughter never killed anyone, regardless of what the newspapers try to make you believe."

Joker smirked. Batman could tell that it was supposed to be a joke.

Bruce roared with laughter, presumably due to the venom. 

"Well, at least you're laughing at something funny." 

Bruce didn't respond but instead continued laughing. 

"There now, isn't that better?" 

"not...really..." 

Joker leaned in and gave Bruce a kiss on the cheek. 

"Something to remember me by, in case one of us doesn't make it." 

Bruce stopped himself from taking his fist and punching the clown. 

They arrived at one of Joker's warehouses. They were only a few blocks away to begin with, but with Joker venom pumping through his system, Batman felt like he had walked several miles. 

Joker led Bruce to a chair, and Bruce let out some more laughter and started gasping for air. 

"Breathe, Bruce." 

Bruce carefully removed his gas mask and started gasping for air. 

"That's it. Breathe, laugh...rinse, repeat." 

Joker let out another giggle. 

"Oh, and the lab's in this room, whenever you're ready." 

Bruce attempted to get up and follow Joker into the room, but his legs just weren't working. He stumbled, fell, and let out more increasingly unpleasant laughter. 

Joker rolled his eyes. The universe must hate me. The trick would have never worked on him had I played it. Joker thought. 

"Do you need help, Batsy?" Joker asked. 

Bruce didn't say anything, but he held out his hands. Joker grabbed him, pulled him up, and proceeded to drag him into his lab. 

"Go on, make your cure." Joker said lazily. 

Bruce stood over the lab table shaking. It looked like he was going to fall over again. 

Joker let out another yawn. 

Ooh...big strong Bats can't do anything for himself anymore. How pleasant for me and unpleasant for him that I finally find out he's human. I do like the show. I'll probably never forget this even if he does recover. Cute little Batsy not able to stand without support, gasping for air, and relying almost completely on his favorite killer clown. Awww...so sweet. This couldn't have been better if I planned it. Joker thought.

Joker let out another childish giggle. 

Bruce blushed. Perhaps he somehow knew that was aimed toward him. 

Joker continued to watch Batman standing over the lab table and shake like a leaf. 

"I would offer you something to drink, but you aren't going to be able to do anything with it until the venom leaves your system. It would miss your throat and go straight to your lungs." 

Suddenly, he passed out. 

Joker walked over and prodded him with his feet. 

Big strong Bats has fallen down, fallen down...Joker remembered when he had Batman penned a few years earlier and sung that silly little song. It sounded so hateful and inappropriate now for some reason, but he still started singing it. This time more slowly, maybe with more reverence so that it didn't exactly seem like he was mocking or happy about it. 

Batman opened his eyes and scowled at Joker. 

"Batsy, you're awake!" 

The moment didn't last long, however, Batman started to fade really fast. 

Joker recognized the paralysis starting to set in. Batman closed his eyes, and his whole body went limp. 

"Bats, get up. Please, get up." 

Joker pulled on Bruce's suit. 

"At least say something, Bats." 

Finally, Batman opened his eyes and let out a gasp and a moan. 

"Bats, it's going to be okay, alright." 

"I...can't...trust...you..." Batman's voice was almost a hoarse whisper at this point. 

"Listen, I can help. Just give me the formula for the antidote, and I'll make it for you. It's totally out of character for me, I know. No one will ever believe I did it, et cetra...et cetra...et cetra...you get to be the big hero again, and I get to be the scary super villain. Just don't leave me like this."

A smile spread across Batman's face and he started laughing again. Joker wasn't sure if it was from the venom or from what he said. 

"Go...get...a...pen...and..." 

Joker ran and got a pen and piece of paper. 

"Got it." 

"The...chemical...formula...for...the...antidote...is..." 

Batman took a long shallow breath and then his eyes closed again. 

"Batman, this is Nightwing...I managed to get into Wayne Manor and get a sample of the Joker venom antidote. What's your location? Batman! Batman." 

Joker sat and listened to the communicator go off for several minutes, hoping Batman would respond or something. 

Finally, he decided he needed to do something before these stupid kids let their mentor and best person in the whole wide world die. 

Joker shakily answered the communicator and put on the darkest sounding voice he could come up with. This was war. 

"This isn't Batman, obviously, but he isn't looking that good. I'm leaving his body in a dumpster for you between Third and Main. Come get him, bat brats. I'm tired of this game." 

Joker didn't even let out a chuckle. It was too much work to try to protect the people you love. This was proof. 

Joker carefully dragged Batman to the dumpster behind his warehouse. 

"I'm sorry for doing this to you, Bruce, I really am, but see they'll suspect a trap if I leave you in a convenient place and that will delay you getting your care." 

Bruce let out a groan. 

"thank...you..." 

Joker was almost crying now. Normally, he could slit a man's throat and laugh about it, get almost euphoric over killing trainloads of men, women, and children, wax nostalgic over killing no-fun superheroes and sidekicks, but this was Batman...his creator and favorite playmate...dying...at someone else's hand. Owlman was going to pay dearly for this, even if Bruce did recover.

I need to leave...exit stage right. Night-wig and the others will be here soon. 

Batman's conrads got there a lot sooner than Joker predicted. They met him as he was exiting the warehouse. 

Joker wasn't using his usual tricks, because for once his mind wasn't on the game; it was on his friend. 

In the doorway stood Nightwing, Red Hood, Batgirl, and Red Robin. 

Joker took off running. 

"Oh, no you don't." Nightwing growled. 

"Look, you really need to see to Batman; he doesn't have much time left!" 

Joker's tone was dripping with genuine concern, but the bat kids might have mistaken it for sarcasm. 

"You see to Batman; I'll take care of the clown." Red Hood growled. 

"Jason, how nice to see you again." 

"Quiet." 

Jason pulled out a revolver and stuck it to Joker's neck. 

"You know, I shouldn't have listened to Bruce. I should have killed you when I had the chance. That way Bruce would still be alive." 

Jason's voice was whiny and angry. Joker figured he had a right to be and didn't attempt to make any conversation. He hated these awkward moments when his victims finally got enough nerve to fight back. 

"You're an infection, a disease, a plague that kills everything it touches." Jason was practically screaming the words. Joker thought he saw tears in his eyes. 

Jason continued pressing the revolver to the clown. 

You better hope I don't get out of this alive, Jason my boy, or else you are going to have to find another Lazarus pit. Joker thought.

Joker didn't care anymore. He knew Jason was angry, but he just lost his best friend. Being shot by this kid would be a relief right now. 

"Speaking of plague. How did you stop the Joker venom cloud from spreading? I noticed the air was finally clear." 

Jason scowled at Joker and punched him in the face. 

"Wouldn't you like to know...yeah...I bet you would." 

Yeah...I bet I would, too, dummy, I wouldn't have asked otherwise! Joker thought. 

"I know how I can keep it from happening ever again." 

Joker heard the gun click as Jason took the safety off. 

"Do you really think killing me is going to solve anything, boy blunder?" 

Jason smiled. It was an evil maniacal smile. 

"Yeah, I do." 

"BANG!" 

Joker suddenly heard a loud bang, followed by the worst pain he had ever felt. Everything suddenly exploded and turned white then red, then white again. The pain was unbearable but it thankfully only lasted a few seconds. 

That night, Joker awoke in a pool of blood and brain tissue. He had a splitting headache and a huge bruise where the bullet entered. 

"What in Hades?" 

Joker looked around, kind of taken aback. He didn't really expect those pills Owlman gave him a few days ago to be that powerful. The clown knew about Dionysium and even employed it to help him with some of his schemes, but this stuff the owl gave him held regenerative power that seemed almost capable of making people immortal. How was he ever going to kill this guy? 

Joker wandered back to the garbage bin where he left his old friend. The body was still there. His kids didn't even come get it. 

He didn't have any of Owlman's regeneration juice. It would have all gone to Bruce if he did. 

Joker wandered back to Jason's crime scene. It was beautiful to him. The street lights illuminated the blood and fractured bone. The brain tissue was lying there in darker splotches. From the looks of it, his head exploded like a watermelon. He sure did have a bad headache.

Joker let out a little giggle as he traced something into the blood and brain tissue. 

"Aha ha ha! The Joker's dead. I guess that's what they call poetic justice. Nice shot, Jason." Joker said as he looked at Batman's body expectantly. 

Joker walked closer to the corpse and stared into the eyes that were hidden under the cowl.

"Get up, Bats! You can't fool me; you wouldn't miss one of my best performances. I bet you didn't know old Joker could do that." 

"Bats!" 

"Bats?" 

The clown took one last look at the corpse before disappearing into the night. The look of that twisted smile on Bruce filled him with an emotion he didn't know how to express; Joker took another look at that smile. What once seemed so clever now seemed grotesque; the smile seemed to be mocking him, taunting him, daring him to play any more games, daring him to try to stop any more people from getting hurt. 

Joker involuntarily shed more tears. 

"Is this what you always felt, Bruce?" 


	13. Bat Sitting

Loud groaning brought him back from his flashback. Was Terry waking up? 

Joker touched the boy's wrist. Only a slight pulse. Something was better than nothing, though. 

_________

 

Terry groggily opened his eyes. He had a splitting headache, and he still wasn't sure where he was. 

Everything was blurry. He thought he could make out splotches of purple, white, and green? Oh no... 

"You gave us quite a scare there, kiddo." 

"Oww...where am I?" 

Terry took a moment to adjust. 

"I gave you quite a scare?" Terry said it in that characteristic whiny voice that was at the same time charming and annoying. 

"We thought you were dead." Joker said in a voice of mock sympathy. 

"I suppose you finally want someone to give you an explanation..." Harley said lazily. 

"That...would...be...nice..." Terry looked like he was going to try to run away.

"It's a really long story, bat kid." Joker said. 

"...and sorry about the Jokah venom last night." Harley said. 

"We just didn't want you running off. I don't know if you noticed, but it's a dangerous place out there." 

"...like I'm supposed to feel safer in here..." 

"I never said it wasn't dangerous here, too..." 

"lovely...look, just try to kill me already and take away the suspense. I can't stand not knowing who to trust." 

"Kill you? We don't want to kill you. I'm not even sure if we want to torture you."

Terry leaned back in his bed, "ha...ha...ha..." 

"Was that more Jokah venom?" 

"I think that was sarcasm, Harley." 

"The Joker, not wanting to hurt me. That's a good one. The last time I met you, you tried to kill my whole family just because you could!" 

Joker ignored Terry. 

"Look. I'll tell you the plan a little later. For now, get lots of rest. Drink plenty of fluids, and don't try to go anywhere outside of Amusement Mile. There's a price on your cute little bat head, courtesy of a friend I'm sure we both know." 

"Remember that tango you did with that oil slick a few nights ago?" 

"There are thousands of more monsters and meta-humans out there just waiting to turn your life into cash, kiddo." 

Terry looked at Joker with eyes wide with fear. 

"Oh, and if you're still worried we might try to kill you and cash in, you can stop now. Hopefully last night showed you that if we wanted to we would have done it already. We need you alive, for the time being." Joker said every word in a low growl, "...and if we change our minds, we'll let you know." 

"He's just joking, Terry." Harley whispered, "about deciding ta kill you..." 

"How am I supposed to be sure? You tried to kill me last night!" 

"No I didn't. It was a mistake. I was just tryin ta keep you safe." 

"He tried to kill me a few nights ago." 

"Jokah was just tryin ta save face; the gas he used wasn't strong enough ta kill anybody, but you didn't know dat and neither did da Jokerz. Jokah put on a great show and scared them all really badly." Harley giggled. 

"Oh yeah...bravo..." Terry said sarcastically.

Harley looked at him with a little concern. 

"How do I get out of here? Please, I need to wake up from this nightmare." 

Harley sighed. 

"It's not a nightmare, Puddin, but we'll explain later." 


	14. Talon Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Um, don't look now, but you aren't dead."
> 
> "How?"
> 
> "I switched the poison one with one that wasn't after I gave you that demonstration with those owls. They don't call me the Joker for nothing."

Joker turned his attention back to T. T was still asleep on the floor.

 _Strong sleeping medicine_. Joker thought.

Joker moved T with his foot.

"Get up you miserable excuse for a human being!"

T moved only slightly. Joker got a good glimpse of him; he looked identical to Terry. Joker pushed warm and fuzzy feelings for Batman that shouldn't have been present at this moment out of his mind.

 _This is a talon, a murderer like me. If anything, he deserves to die. I shouldn't feel bad about roughing him up a bit._ Joker thought.

Joker pushed him again with his foot.

T let out a loud snore. Joker kicked him hard in the side. Nothing. Joker tried again.

"Ow!" T let out a squeal.

"Oh goody, you're awake. I need to ask you a few questions..."

Joker started laughing maniacally and pulled out that old dirty crowbar. Joker pulled out a canister of gas and sprayed it in T's face. T fell to the ground unconscious.  

When T came to, he was bound and being held by two of Joker's meta human henchmen. 

T looked up at Joker, revealing eyes wide with fear.

This was like candy to the clown.

"Thrwack!"

The crowbar landed square in T's ribs.

"First question. Where is Owlman right now?"

"I don't know; he disappeared shortly after leaving me for dead. Damian Wayne almost signed my death certificate."

"Cute, but I want a few more details."

"Sure, about what?"

"How did Damian almost sign your death certificate, to start?"

"He took away these crystals that Owlman gave us; they look like little pills. We take them, and we become invincible."

"Oh yeah, those; they look kind of like gelatin tablets. Let me guess. He did something that should have totally ended you, like maybe cutting off your head, and you woke up the next day fit as a fiddle."

"More or less..."

"Do you have any more of these pills?"

"I took my last ones while I was still living with Wayne."

"Unfortunate, and it looks like your healing factor is back to normal, judging from that cracked rib I just gave you. You know, if I wanted to, I could kill you right now, but what would be fun about that? I could also probably fix you, make you nearly invincible again, but I'm just not sure I want to."

Joker readied the crowbar.

"I mean, with a hyped up healing factor, blows like...this..."

Joker swung the crowbar and it landed with a loud crack close to his neck.

"...wouldn't mean anything...but right now, I bet that hurt so badly you would be willing to tell me anything." Joker said it with such cheerfulness.

T was crying at this point.

"No, I don't want tears. I want information."

"I told you everything!"

"Liar liar, pants on fire..."

Joker took the crowbar and hit T hard on his shin.

T shed more tears for the pain he was feeling.

"Let's see..what can you tell me that you haven't? How to break into Wayne Manor without getting caught. Why Damian tried to kill you with Owlman's consent. What the heck is Owlman planning if he's not here in this universe right now...lots of stuff."

"I don't care how badly I'm hurting...you won't get anymore information, not from a few broken bones. My life is too valuable. If Owlman found any of this out, he'd..."

"Hmm...if it's your life you're worried about..."

Joker started laughing maniacally and produced a little needle.

"One stick, kiddo, and you won't have to worry about your life anymore. It'll be gone."

Joker held the needle dangerously close to T's skin.

"Wow...what's in that?" T asked in a whine a little like Terry.

"It's a very powerful neurotoxin. It'll kill you within three seconds. You probably think I'm bluffing, huh?"

"I'm hope-hoping you are..."

"Check this out."

Joker had a cage full of tiny barn owls. He stuck one of them with the needle. Immediately, the bird fell over and died.

"Still feeling like taking that gamble, bird breath?" Joker asked; his voice was almost singing. It was creepy how cheerful he was about all of this.

T sighed.

"You are obviously a pro...I've heard a lot about you, but I didn't know it was all true..."

Joker continued to hold the needle up menacingly.

"Your flattery sounds like stalling, talon."

Joker held the syringe within less than half an inch of T's arm, and he slowly released it letting a few drops fall on T's bare skin. That did the trick.

"I don't know how to break into Wayne Manor without getting caught. I'm assuming my retina scan and other information was removed from the computers after I left."

"The owl, last I heard, is planning a hostile takeover of other worlds; no surprise, right?"

"Which ones, specifically?"

"Earth 2 and Earth Prime. He went personally to scout out the landscape."

Joker let the needle slide a lot closer to T's skin than was comfortable. It was almost touching it now. T let out a little yelp.

"The owl is using you as a scapegoat. You have quite the reputation from that partnership you formed with him once upon a moon, and he's been blaming you for all of the crime that he unleashes in these other worlds. He's also using this world as a dumping ground for people who refuse to do what he wants."

"The owl thinks I'm dead, though."

"...which is probably why he's blaming you; dead men can't fight back."

"Now, how did you fall from Owlman's good graces?"

"Owlman tried to kill me because I saw him for who he really was and started working with Red Hood."

"Jason or the other guy? I kind of get those two mixed up." Joker said it while letting more solution fall onto T's bare arm.

"The man who looks just like you...but isn't. The caped crusader who trails Owlman and tries to keep him in check in any way possible."

"Oh, that guy. I thought we killed him."

"You ruined his reputation, and he had to go into hiding, but no, he's very much alive. I doubt anyone would be able to kill him; he stole the owl's talon formula and has been using it for himself and his followers."

"Does he have any plans for doing away with the owl?"

"None that he would ever be willing to share with you."

"You sure?" Joker pressed the needle against T's arm, one wrong move, and T was going to get a stick.

"Positive. Red Hood doesn't trust you."

Joker paused and looked at his needle.

"Why am I always the bad guy, even when I try to do good?"

"That's your call, but you know maybe it isn't too late to change?"

"...so sweet...but how do I know you aren't just going to turn tail and run back to the owl or the red hood, if I let you go?"

"Red Hood is mad at you, but he's not a threat to you. Owlman wants me dead. That assassin that was after us that night was after me, not the other Terry."

"It looked like she was after both of you, and, look, I can't kill half of Gotham trying to protect you. You aren't that valuable, you know?"

"I'm disgusted that you felt like you needed to kill anyone for me."

"Yeah, well, pardon me. I didn't think a fellow mass murderer would worry so much over a little spilled blood."

"Talons don't have the cleanest of reputations; this is true."

"Also, if you know all of this stuff, birdbrain, why did you act so clueless that day at the Jokerz club?"

"I didn't want the owl or any of his informants finding out what I knew."

"Smart...I probably exposed myself..."

"I'm sure he definitely knows that you are still alive now."

"Good."

Joker stuck the needle into T's arm. T let out a gasp.

"...but I told you everything you needed to know!"

"Yes, you did, but I just wanted to kill something or someone. Adios my kiddo..."

Joker started laughing. It was a cross between a giggle and the maniacal laughter he sometimes gave people.

"Besides, two copies of the same kid...too confusing. I think we only need one."

T turned white, sighed and closed his eyes.

After about a minute, Joker tapped him on the shoulder.

"Um, don't look now, but you aren't dead."

"How?"

"I switched the poison one with one that wasn't after I gave you that demonstration with those owls. They don't call me the Joker for nothing."

T sighed and shivered.

"Also, don't leave yet. Come back to my lab tonight. I have something for you, but don't make me regret trusting you, T."

"Oh, certainly not." T said it with a false cheerfulness to cover up his fear.


	15. Talon Show (Part II)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I feel invincible!"
> 
> T looked at Joker with shock; he was holding a gun up to T's face, and he had a maniacal evil grin on his face, like he was ready to murder a whole room.
> 
> "Let's see if you are." Joker said.
> 
> Before T knew what was happening.
> 
> "BANG!"

T swallowed hard after Joker left the room. He was terrified, but he was pretty sure he put on a good enough show.

This guy is scary, even to me. T thought. 

T tried to move and then realized he couldn't. 

That "harmless" shot Joker gave me must have had something in it that would paralyze me. T thought. 

T looked around the room. 

This place looks like something out of a Frankenstein special. T thought. 

The room was full of lab equipment of various shapes and sizes. Boiling cauldrons of who-knows-what were foaming and fizzing. Live animals with grotesque mutations crawled around the lab helpless with clown faces and forced smiles. A cage crammed with helpless barn owls was on display on a desk. The poor birds hardly had enough room to move. He watched them peck and pinch and claw one another for free space. 

At the back wall lay life-sized replicas of torture instruments from various eras. There were life-sized replicas of the Judas cradle, Rack, Brazen Bull, Chinese Iron Maiden, Pear of Anguish, and a giant roasting pot. Next to these lay dummies dressed in clothing that looked like Owlman's costume. One had giant wooden pins in it. Another looked like it had been burned with acid. 

 

In the far corner, there was another dummy. It was dressed in all black, and it wasn't with the torture instruments. Instead, it was stuffed in the back, perched against the wall like some kind of dark gargoyle. 

The stuff was starting to wear off just a little. T was able to crane his neck and look even further into that corner of the room. It was stuffed with figures that looked just like the man in black. 

T's attention was turned elsewhere when he felt a little tickle on his leg. 

Closing his eyes, T moved to clear whatever it was off. Knowing this guy, it could have been anything--giant tarantulas with Joker's face, hand-sized cockroaches engineered just for screams, smiling rats, scorpions the size of bananas....the thought made him cringe. He reached to clear it only to encounter something wet, leathery, and cold. 

"woof!" 

T opened his eyes. 

"A dog?"

The animal took a sniff of T and began to growl. 

"nice puppy, nice puppy." 

The dog continued to growl angrily. 

Great. I'm about to get mauled by this mutt, and thanks to a certain clown-faced criminal, I can't even get out of the way. T thought to himself. 

T braced himself as well as he could; he could just barely move his head, neck, and shoulders; the rest of him lay limp, affected by some mystery drug. T put his head down and let out a wimper.

"please..." 

The angry dog continued growling, bounded up to T, took a couple of sniffs, and then started to walk away. 

T leaned back to watch the dog leaving. 

"How did it get in here?" 

Just then, T heard someone. 

"Here, puppy. Here, puppy..." 

It was Harley...one of them, anyway. She was dressed in her full jester outfit, complete with white gloves, bells, and clown makeup. 

Who knew they could make something so silly into something so scary? 

"Oh, the work I'm doing so that poor little Terry doesn't feel so lost and homesick..." Harley said. 

T heard her let out a sigh. 

I wonder why McGinnis is getting the royal treatment.

Just then, T heard a sound. It was that dog again. 

Harley let out a squeal. 

"Ohh! There you are! Mommy's found you. Aren't you just the cutest little baby? Yes, you are!" 

The dog barked. 

"Come on, Ace. McGinnis is going to be so happy to see you!" Harley said. 

T watched Harley gently lead the dog away. 

I guess it's now or never. T thought to himself. 

"Hey, um, Harley, could you give me, um, a little help?" 

Harley stopped, tied the dog to a post, and studied T. She then produced a set of keys. 

T sort of got excited, then he found out the punchline. 

Harley took the keys and, in a very quick motion, handcuffed T to the chair Joker had him seated in. 

"Mistah J says he wants to keep you there for a little while; he has a surprise for you. Plus, you're dead weight right now. I'm not that strong." Harley replied as she lead Ace to another corner of the room, presumably to a secret exit. This place was littered with those. 

I wonder if there was some kind of double meaning to the word "dead" in that sentence? T asked himself.

A few hours later, and T was really starting to feel the pain, and not being able to move much wasn't helping. T fought tears at the unfairness of it all. He still couldn't move, and now he was handcuffed to a nice sturdy wooden chair, and just to add insult to injury, he was almost mauled by an angry dog.

Slumping back in his chair, T let out a little sigh. He still couldn't feel his legs; he'd never felt so helpless before. T accidentally leaned against his chair too hard and felt the injuries Joker had given him a few hours ago. They were really sore. It felt like his ribs were broken, and his head and collarbone wouldn't stop throbbing. The wooden chair was putting pressure on all of those wounded points and not allowing him to get comfortable. Just to add insult to injury, the paralyzing agent, and now the handcuffs, didn't allow him to change position or leave the chair to get comfortable.

There was also a really foul odor in the room. It smelled like a dead animal, but it could have just as easily been a dead body. T craned his neck to try to see what was producing that stench. There was also a low humming sound in the room. At first, T thought it was machinery, but now it sounded more like...the swarming of flies.

T was totally disgusted; he wanted to get as far away from this place as he could, but he still couldn't move most of his body. 

I really guess the only thing I can do is try to get comfortable and wait on my fate. T told himself 

It took a lot of wiggling and wincing, but he finally found a position that didn't make him feel like his bones were being freshly broken. It was late enough, and T was exhausted; he didn't want to fall asleep, but his body wasn't really giving too many more options at this point. 

"How's my little bird boy?" 

T awoke to a raspy sounding voice with yellow teeth and smelly breath. 

"Oh, it's you." T said flatly. 

T watched Joker pull out a syringe full of fluid. 

Oh no, what is he going to do now? 

Joker grabbed a paralyzed arm and let out a chuckle. 

"Stop!" T yelped. 

"Shhhh...you don't have to be afraid of me, little owl." 

T started wimpering and crying. 

Joker gently took the arm and continued to rub it. 

"Shhhh...just trust me for once, okay?" 

T kept crying. 

I have no idea what this maniac is going to do. T shuddered at the thought. 

Joker took the needle and jammed it into T's paralyzed arm. 

Suddenly, the parts he could move went limp again. 

Joker undid the handcuffs and pulled the now almost completely paralyzed T very close. 

"Shhhh...you have to trust me now, don't you?" 

No, I don't trust you, not one little bit! T thought. 

T shuddered again. 

The clown pulled him closer and gave him a kiss on the forehead. 

"Don't be afraid of your old uncle Joker. I just have a favor to ask of you. I'll give you a chemical that will make you nearly invincible; I just want you to lead me to the owl in return." 

"If I refuse to help with this little mission of yours, what will happen?" T heard himself ask that question before he even thought about the situation. 

Joker smiled and laughed again. He picked up T and held him limp like a toy. 

Should he even be that strong? 

His eyes darkened and narrowed as they focused on T; Joker's little pupils did nothing but twinkle like snakes' eyes. 

"You don't want to know..." 

Joker picked up one of T's limp arms and gently guided a syringe to it. 

T looked down to see the syringe in his arm; he couldn't feel anything. 

Suddenly, the numbness was replaced by a burning sensation, like his insides were being set on fire or ripped out, or maybe both at the same time. The pain was unbearable. 

T let out a quick scream, then caught himself and winced. 

That...feels familiar. 

"Owlman's elixir?" T asked. 

Joker grinned and laughed. 

T felt the feeling coming back to his body; it was his healing factor? 

"How do you feel?" 

"I feel invincible!" 

T looked at Joker with shock; he was holding a gun up to T's face, and he had a maniacal evil grin on his face, like he was ready to murder a whole room. 

"Let's see if you are." Joker said. 

Before T knew what was happening. 

"BANG!" 

A wave of sharp pain went through his head. It was the second worst pain he'd ever felt. He reached behind his head and got a handful of blood and darker meaty tissue. A sick feeling came into T's stomach, and he passed out. 

Joker stood over T, who was now missing half of his head. Blood was pooling around Joker's feet and running under T.

"Oh, now isn't that a shame. Oh well, better not let this moment go to waste; I'll get the camera and that old Hawaiian shirt. It is a beautiful piece of art, just not what I had in...mind?"

Joker trailed off when he looked down and no longer saw a mortally wounded corpse. T's body was back together again, and he was struggling to get up. 

"Hmm, now that's a healing factor..." 

Joker let out another dark laugh. 

"That...really hurt..." T whined. 

Joker grabbed him by the arm. 

"I kept my side of the bargain..." 

Joker pulled on T's shirt. 

"Now you keep yours...or else" 

T knew better than to talk back. This was the Joker. Even though he might be invincible; the clown probably had elixirs that could undo it or worse. 

"I'll try to find Owlman for you, but it would be easier if I had a little help...two are better than one you know."

"You want me to send Terry? He might be killed." 

"Am I missing something? Why do you care?" 

"...the owl..." 

"That's not really an answer..." 

Joker pulled out something that looked like a small white pill and stuck it on T. 

It clamped down with an invisible needle, and T let out a yelp. 

"Ow." 

"Go find Owlman. You have 48 hours or else you'll wish you'd never met me!"


	16. Fatal Attractions

"Woof!" 

The door to Terry's bedroom suddenly burst open, and he was greeted by several pounds of muscle and black fur. 

"Ace!" Terry shouted.

The dog stopped, licked Terry, and then growled at Harley. 

Harley looked at the dog with a scowl and said, "shut up." 

The dog, sensing no fear, immediately stopped growling and went back to Terry's side. 

"Don't let mister J know I got him for you, okay? He hates animals. All he ever does is experiment on 'em," Harley said in a low whisper. 

Terry quietly petted Ace while studying Harley. For some reason, she didn't seem nearly as scary as the Joker. In fact, she kind of looked cute in her little outfit with a jester hat and bells. 

Her outfit. I remember seeing something similar in Bruce's bat cave. Terry thought to himself. 

He thought he saw little bruises on her neck and face even though the makeup was attempting to cover them. 

"How did you get those?" 

"What?" 

"Those bruises...on your neck." 

"Grandpa, McGinnis, grandpa...did you even need to ask? He can be a very violent man. Surely you know. You said you met him already in your universe." 

"Ours was a renegade Robin that had some kind of chip implanted in his neck." 

"Whatever..." 

"You shouldn't let him beat you." 

Harley rubbed the back of her neck and smiled at Terry. 

"What other choice do I have?" 

"you could run away..."

"Yeah right. He's got cameras everywhere. I've tried running away before. I'm lucky he didn't kill me. Besides, he needs someone to look after him; he's a frail old man, and he's really not all bad, just crazy."

Harley turned to leave and then looked back at Terry. 

"Besides, what do you care if I get beaten up, McGinnis?" 

"I'm batman; I care about everyone, Harley." 

"Psssh...grandpa's shown me pictures of Batsy; you're not him." 

"I'm not Bruce; I'm his replacement..." 

"Replacement, huh? I once had a plant friend who replaced people...it wasn't pretty..." 

Terry let out a forced giggle to try to seem unafraid. 

Harley got up and turned to leave. 

"Anyway, there's your dog. If you need anything else, just let me know. Mr. J, well, grandpa, really seems to like you." 

Terry looked again at Harley. She looked so...dangerous. The makeup and costume completely hid her face; she could have been anyone. Terry also remembered the Joker venom. Still, though, it was worth a shot...she did believe his story, after all. 

"Um, Harley, before you leave, may I ask you another question?" 

Harley turned back around. 

"Sure. Shoot..." 

"Harley, look, I need to find a way out of here. I need to go back to where I'm from. You've been nice and all, but..." 

Harley let out a yawn. 

"...I'll ask Mr. J...in the morning..." 

"Be careful, Harley." 

Harley let out another childish giggle as she watched Terry petting Ace. 

"So, do you still think this is all a bad dream?" 

Terry just stared at her. He wasn't sure what to say. 

"This all certainly feels like a dream, Harley, a bad dream, a very bad dream." Terry finally said.

Harley looked at him with sad eyes and her face in a pout. 

"...but I'm happy that now I at least have a friend to share the experience with." 

Harley let out an excited squeal and bounced onto McGinnis's bed. Before Terry knew what was happening, she pulled him into a passionate kiss. 

McGinnis tasted something bitter and immediately started coughing. 

"Are you okay?" 

"Your lipstick..." 

Harley remembered and then her expression turned to one of worry. 

McGinnis started to mirror Harley's expression. 

"What's wrong, Harley?" 

"I think I got you with the poison lipstick...I'm sorry; it was something my grandmother used to wear. I just wear it to remember her..." 

"You poisoned me?" 

"Please, it wasn't on purpose...I don't even know if it's strong enough ta affect you..." 

Terry looked at Harley, eyes wide and full of fear and anger. 

"It was a mistake...look, I'll make it better. You stay here; there's this friend of my grandmother who still lives in Robinson Park; she can make a cure for you. I would just tell grandpa and let him take care of you, but he's not really good at helping people. He might even find it funny and decide to have us watch you die foaming at the mouth..."

"...and I thought you said Joker was such a nice guy..." 

"Yeah...well, I lied...but I'm not allowed to admit that; I hope he's not watching." 

"I thought as much...anyway, look, I'm going with you...you can't leave me here to die, Harley, not if you care about me. Plus, what would your grandmother think?" 

"She would want me to help you, but I can't disobey Mr. J; he does really like you..." 

"Imagine how he would feel if he found out I died, by your hand..." 

Harley looked at Terry. 

"...he probably wouldn't care if I took you out for an hour or so...as long as I brought you back in one piece..."

Terry got up from the bed. 

"Oh...and can I have the suit?" 

"It's in my grandpa's lab...I'll get it for you before we leave...anything else?" 

"Remember to wipe that lipstick off before you give me another kiss." 

Harley smiled and blushed under the makeup.


	17. Journey to Aunt Pam's Place

Terry took a moment to look at himself in the full length mirror. He was so happy to have the bat suit back on. Ace bounded up to him, wagged his tail, and barked. 

"Shhh..." 

Ace looked at Terry and whimpered. 

"Harley, are you ready?" 

"Just a minute. I'm fixing my makeup..." 

Terry heard a gun click. He wasn't sure what she was really doing, but it didn't sound like preening. 

Harley jumped out of the bathroom in full jester costume; her clown makeup was thick and white on her face, and she wore something like a domino mask to cover her eyes, or maybe that was more makeup, too. She was also carrying a comically over sized hammer. 

Terry looked at Harley. 

"Let me guess...another memory of grandma?" 

"She used to carry this hammer around almost everywhere she went." 

"Don't you think that's going to make us kind of conspicuous?" 

"Well...you could put on some clown makeup and take off that silly cowl, but I doubt you are going to do that." 

"No thanks...I don't really get into the clown thing...bad memories from back home..." 

"I understand...are you ready to go?" 

"Ready whenever you are..." 

Terry knew they weren't disguised well, but he really just wanted to get away from Joker's fun house. This place gave him the creeps. 

Harley casually moved toward the wall, took out her hammer, and banged on the wall... 

So much for subtle. Terry thought.

A hidden door in the wall opened up, and they walked through. 

"Interesting exit...do you think Joker heard us?" 

"If he did, he would a said something by now." 

Harley and Terry started walking through a long corridor. 

"Um, where exactly are we?" 

"We're under my grandpa's fairgrounds." 

"Lots of hidden tunnels..." 

"It's the fastest route to Robinson Park, and you said you had a little trouble with the neighbors earlier. Plus, Joker doesn't monitor this area; there's usually no need to." 

Terry gave a little sigh of relief. Bats could be heard squeaking overhead. 

"Hey look McGinnis; your friends live here..." 

For a few seconds, Terry felt okay. The cold underground cavern reminded him of the bat cave. Then, Ace straightened and growled. 

"Yeah...right. I think we should keep moving, Harley."

Just then, glowing red eyes pierced through the darkness, and Terry, Harley, and Ace were put on alert. 

"Ha ha ha ha ah ha ha...."

Harley and Terry recognized the laughter. Ace started growling. 

"Grandpa?" 

"Harley? What did I tell you about coming here without my permission? You've been a very naughty little girl, and unfortunately for you, papa spank." 

Just then, a projectile came hurdling toward them. 

Terry threw a bat-a-rang to try to intercept it, but he missed. 

It exploded into some kind of gas. 

Terry held his breath and tried to shield Harley and Ace. 

Ace growled.

Then, sparks started flying, literally. 

"Harleewaw...ah....ah" It was the sound a recording slowly breaking down and stopping. 

Terry, Harley, and Ace ran as fast as they could through the cloud of gas, hoping the sparks didn't suddenly catch the gas on fire.

After running for several minutes, the air finally appeared clear. Terry finally took a breath. Harley and Ace were breathing the whole time. 

"Joker bots...I forgot about those..." Harley said. 

"Yeah...it would have been nice to warn us about any booby traps..." 

"Sorry, Terry.." 

"Well, I would say we're safe now, but the way things are going, I wouldn't want to jinx us." 

Just then, a huge rat leaped out of the shadows. Terry and Harley jumped. 

"Whoa." 

Ace continued growling. 

The creature lumbered past them. It must have been the size of a small dog.

Ace followed it, and Terry and Harley trailed him. 

They stopped at a nice looking underground lake. Terry looked in the lake. The water was clear, but a chemical smell was coming from it. What were those creatures under the water?

"I've heard of clown fish, Harley, but what happened here?" 

Harley observed the water. 

"That's just more of grandpa's silly experiments. I told you that's all he knows how to do with animals."

"They look like the Joker...creepy..." 

Harley let out a giggle. 

"Don't worry about it, McGinnis; we're almost out of here anyway." 

The rat disappeared behind a rock, and Ace led them to an opening. 

"Come on; Robinson Park, what's left of it anyway, is just a few more steps away."


	18. Aunt Pam

The two kids and the dog walked out of the cave and into a vine covered clearing. 

Immediately, a strong chemical smell hit them. "You might want to cover your mouth, McGinnis," Harley warned, "this place was used as a toxic waste dump after dat owl guy took over. I don't know what kinds of chemicals are still in the air and water." 

Terry activated a gas mask that was part of the suit. 

"Will you be okay? Don't you need something?" Terry asked. 

"After putting up with grandpa's lab, nah, I'm used to it." 

"Are you sure?" 

While the two kids were talking, a clump of vines rose up out of the water. 

"Harley, behind you!" Terry shouted. 

Harley turned around and then let out a delighted squeal.

"Huh?"

"Aunt Pam!" Harley shouted. 

The vines continued to wrap around Harley and Terry. All she did was look totally elated. 

"Harley, are you sure we're okay?" Terry asked, "I think I can break these vines if we need to get away..."

"No, Terry, you'll hurt 'em. They're just taking us to see my friend." 

"Who is your friend, Harley?" 

Oh, great. She's crazy. Why didn't I expect this already? We're going to get eaten by some kind of monster that she thinks is her aunt. Terry's thoughts were racing; he was going to break the vines and get away, but... Just then, a female voice spoke. 

"Harley? I thought the Joker would have killed you by now! I guess I was wrong. How's my favorite great niece?" 

"Aunt Pam!" 

"Technically, I'm your grand aunt...who is this?"

Joker family in-laws...why didn't I expect this? Terry thought to himself. 

Terry saw the shape of a woman peering through a clump of trees. He waved and smiled sheepishly, hoping the plant woman was actually friendly and wasn't going to try to attack him. 

"His name's Terry; he's not from around here, Red...my grandma used to always call you that, didn't she?" 

Terry could feel the vines tightening around his body. 

"That's Auntie Red to you, Harl." 

This is not good. Terry thought. 

"Harley, he looks like a talon...you know what Owlman did to...this world..."

"Oh, but he's not a talon. He thinks he's batman, a little screwy if you ask me...but still a good kid." 

"Batman? That name seems familiar...the hero your grandfather killed who could have gotten us all out of this mess...I remember him." 

"But he didn't kill him..." 

"Just like he didn't kill Harley? Face it, your grandfather is a monster..." 

And notice this is coming from a woman who is apparently made out of vines. Terry thought to himself. 

"...if I didn't love your grandmother so much I would have done the sensible thing already and...but I guess you need him; monster or not, he is your grandfather, and if he's got you trained like he did my Harley...I only hope he treats you better, but judging from those bruises..." 

Terry felt the vines relax a little. 

"Why did you come here, anyway?" 

"I was...um...playin' with the lipstick you gave my grandmother and I accidentally gave the b-man wannabe over there a kiss..." 

"A kiss of death, eh?" 

The woman directed the vines that held Terry and Harley to lower themselves onto the island. 

"Let me get a better look..." Terry could see the figure a little more clearly now. It was a woman with red hair and green skin... The vines relaxed and let Harley go, but several still held Terry in place. Without much warning, a cold green hand reached over to Terry.

"I'm sorry, but I'll need to remove that cowl to get a better look at your eyes." 

A vine wrapped around Terry's neck and slowly worked its way to the cowl, flipping it to the ground. The green woman didn't act surprised when she saw Terry's face. Maybe she didn't know. 

"Judging from your eyes, you have several hours before the poisons take effect if any were administered. I can have a cure by then." 

Harley heard vines rustling in the distance. One caught her foot and had her hanging upside down. 

"Harley? Next time be very careful about the kind of company you keep, okay?"

"Sorry, Aunt Pam." 

"I normally don't like to see new faces...it's just too much of a risk to trust anyone anymore." 

"Oh, but he won't hurt us..." 

"I'm trusting it this time. In the future, though, if you need to see me, come alone. You are the only member of your family and circle of friends I respect, and I don't want to see that change."

"What do you mean?" 

__________________________________________

The once illustrious Poison Ivy looked at little Harley with concern. It pained her every time she saw her. She reminded her so much of her Harley, her friend and lover. Ivy saw this new world Owlman had them trapped in as a certain death sentence, and she had long given up hope. Still, though, it was nice to have a friend. Harley had the same reckless abandonment that the other Harley had. She wasn't afraid of anything. Killing her wouldn't have been right. Ivy wasn't the Joker after all. The right thing to do was to help in any way she could, perform the duty of a grand aunt, help out with making certain potions, and always provide a shoulder to cry on if things at home got too rough. Ivy had listened to Harley tell so many stories; some brought tears to her eyes, even in this cold unfeeling world where Ivy had learned to be more plant than human. 

Ivy sometimes remembered who she was. She was a doctor in a former life, a plant scientist, a human being. Her Harley was able to bring that out in her, and her granddaughter tried so hard to be her. Sometimes Ivy wanted to tell Harley, "it's okay; just be yourself," but the truth was, she liked Harley that way, as a mini Harley Quinn. She wasn't sure if she would have the same affection for her otherwise. She saw her as an extension of Harley, much like Harley's daughter before her. The owl killed Lucy, though, and then Harley started staying with her grandfather. Ivy never knew much about Lucy until she was much older, but Ivy had known little Harley all of her life. 

Ivy pulled Harley close and held her in her green arms. 

"You remember that potion I gave your grandmother?" Ivy asked. 

Harley nodded.

"I think it's time I give it to you...it's a dangerous place, Harley; it's us against the world. You need to be prepared..." 

While Ivy was talking, she very gently stuck a needle into Harley's arm.

"Ow..." Ivy laughed. 

"You know, your grandmother never liked needles, either."

"What was that?" Harley asked. "Just something that will allow me to get a little closer to you..." Ivy said. Without warning, she gave Harley a kiss on the cheek. 

"The kiss of death?" Harley looked at Ivy with her eyes wide with confusion and hurt.

"Not anymore, not for you, anyway. This way, I couldn't poison you if I tried. Maybe that will provide incentive for you to visit me more often."

Ivy let out another proud laugh. 

"This game we play, it's all about trust, little bug. Plus, if I know your grandpa, and unfortunately I do, this will come in handy the next time he loses his temper and threatens you..." 

Harley smiled.

"What about my friend?" 

Ivy's expression changed and her smile faded. 

"What about him?" 

"I never ask for things like this, but I like him. Could you give him some of the potion you gave me so that I don't have to worry about hurting him?"

Ivy was now scowling at Harley.

"Little Harley bug...what do I look like a pharmacy?" 

Ivy was a little ticked off, not as ticked off as when Joker had Harley bug her for an invincibility potion for dear old grandpa and she basically told Harley to tell him to go jump in the lake he helped contaminate, but she was still pretty upset. 

Harley had a way with her, though.

"Oh please...I promise I'll come visit you every chance I get." 

Harley was doing her grandmother's full fake accent and looking at her with pitiful wide sad eyes. Who could resist that?

"Oh please, Auntie Red, this would mean so much to me..." 

"Fine..." 

"I knew you would understand!" 

"if he tries to hurt you, I could still put a vine through his chest..." 

Harley giggled...

_____________________________________________ 

Terry saw a vine and moved it out of the way.

It responded by wrapping itself around Terry. 

This is like the enchanted forest. Terry thought. 

"Hey, get off of me!"

Terry wasn't sure what it was, but he suddenly wasn't feeling very well. He could feel himself getting weaker and weaker by the minute. Soon, he was crouched in a fetal position, moaning and holding his stomach. 

"I hope I haven't made you wait too long..." Terry heard a voice say. 

Terry saw green skin and piercing red eyes through the haze of his sickness.

Ivy held Terry's face back and looked into his eyes.

"Well, now your eyes tell me you don't have long at all." 

Ivy saw the vine wrapped around Terry's leg. 

"Those toxic thorns don't think much of kevlar, do they?" 

Terry saw Ivy like she was spinning; he was getting dizzy and feeling sick.

____________________________________

Harley crept up behind Ivy, and she could see her through the corner of her eye.

"Oh, fine!" 

Poison Ivy actually wanted to kill Terry and claim it was an accident. She just had a strong hatred for men that couldn't really be rationalized. She knew she couldn't do it with Harley watching, though, and it was a fleeting desire. 

Instead she quickly jammed the needle she gave Harley into Terry's arm. Ivy stood with her arms folded and her face in a pout. 

"I bet you feel much better now." Ivy hissed.

Harley giggled as Terry passed out. 


	19. Three kids get lost in a cave...

Terry came to wheezing and coughing. His vision was once again blurry, and Ace was licking his face. This time, though, he didn't feel sleepy or sick.

As he started to focus on his surroundings, he saw the same red and black diamond pattern.  

"Harley?" 

 _Again?_  Terry thought. 

"Oh good, you're awake!" 

Terry continued to observe his surroundings; it felt cold and damp. They were in some kind of underground cavern; Terry could hear bats. 

"Harley, what happened?"

"You got so sick that you fainted. Aunt Pam and a few a her friends helped me move you while you were unconscious."   

The cave looked familiar. 

"Harley....where are we?" 

"Um..." Harley hesitated before she answered the question. 

"We're in the caverns that lead to Joker's hideout, aren't we? You were taking me back to him." Terry said with an emphasis on "him." 

"Um...yeah..." Harley said in almost a squeak. 

Terry pulled himself up to a standing position and held on to Ace for support.

"I'm not going back with you, not after everything he's tried to do to me." Terry said.

"...but Puddin, if you don't come with me, I could get into a whole lot a trouble."

"That's not my problem..."

Harley looked at him again; she was scowling through the clown makeup.

"Some Batman you turned out to be..." 

Her scowl soon turned into a sad frown, and tears started to flow. 

"Please come back wit me. I can't face grandpa alone; sometimes I'm afraid dat he'll kill me and laugh about it. You're one of the only people who know how scary he really is. Besides, didn't you say you were Batman, and you protected people, even people like me?" 

Terry looked at Harley again. He reached out and grabbed her by the arms. 

"I did, but I'm not going back there, but you don't have to go, either." 

Harley pulled him into an embrace. 

"I like you, McGinnis." Harley cooed. 

Without another word, she pulled him into a passionate kiss. Terry gently pushed her away. 

"What's wrong, Puddin?" 

"...you won't get mad if I tell you this, right?"

"No, I fell into madness a long time ago; nothing you say or do could make it worse, cutie..." 

"I have a girlfriend..."

Harley stopped. 

"...she's all the way in another dimension, though..." 

"...still...loyalty and all..." 

Harley put her face in a pout. 

"I think I understand what you mean...besides, I must be kiddin myself if I think someone as cute as you could ever like a girl like me...I had to drug you to get you ta see me like that...I look my best in clown makeup. "

Harley started crying, and the makeup started running. That large bruise on her neck was again becoming more visible. Terry put his hand on her shoulder reassuringly.  

"Harley, that's not true at all! You look wonderful without the clown makeup." 

"Do you mean dat, or are you just saying stuff ta make me feel better?" 

"Harley, if I didn't have a girlfriend already and I saw you out of costume, I..." Terry didn't know where he was going with that statement. 

"Well, you don't have one, not in dis universe." 

"Technically, but I..." 

Before Terry could finish his sentence, Harley pulled him into another embrace and gave him a kiss. This time, he let her; she held him and let out a short squeal. It was a little annoying and fake sounding but it also had notes of excitement and elation.  

This time, Terry didn't push her away. Instead, he studied the scars and bruises that were peeking through the makeup while she held him and kissed him.

She deserves better than that. Terry thought as he took in the smell of greasepaint.  

The moment was interrupted by maniacal laughter in Terry's voice. 

"Puddin, what's so funny?" 

"That wasn't me, Harl." Terry said. 

"Well, well, if it isn't the two lovebirds." T said. 

"T, where did you come from?" 

"Places..." T said. 

Without warning, Terry and Harley were almost hit by a machete.

"Hey!" Harley whined.  

 "T? What's gotten in to you?" 

The response was more Joker-esque maniacal laughter.

T casually did a back flip and landed in a kneeling position, still holding the machete.

"T stands for Talon, you know..." T said darkly, "...the deadly weapons of a bird of prey."

"Cut out the science lessons, creep!" Harley yelled.  

Terry and Harley dodged another swing of the machete.

"Ah ah...watch your words, love birds!"  

Harley took a smiling grenade out of her purse and threw it in T's general direction. 

"McGinnis, get down!" Harley warned.

A second later, an explosion went off dangerously close to the two teens.  

Rubble and fire covered the area where T was standing.

"Is he? Harley did you just?"

"What was I supposed to do? He was tryin ta kill us! Did you have any better ideas?" 

"No one could've survived that..."

 Through the smoke and rubble, Terry and Harley both heard something. 

"Aha ha ha ha ha..." 

"If dat ain't you laughin'...it means..." Harley said.

Terry and Harley watched in horror as a laughing shadow emerged from the rubble. Part of his face was burned, but he was otherwise only lightly damaged.

"Oh, I forgot to mention one of our best qualities..." T said in a mocking tone, "...we're virtually indestructible..." 

"We'll see about dat!" Harley growled as she pulled out another grenade.

Terry put his hand on Harley's.

"Harley, don't. I'll try to distract him, you leave, okay?"

"I ain't no coward, McGinnis."

"Do it for me?" Terry asked.

Harley nodded.

Terry activated the jet pack on his bat suit.

"Hey, gruesome, you can't catch me!" Terry yelled to T.

"Yeah...right..." T growled.

Suddenly, Terry was hit with heart-shaped throwing stars. The razor sharp blades sliced through parts of the suit and threw him off balance, and he almost hit a wall.  

Terry had to deactivate the jets to keep from crashing. 

He landed with a thud right in front of T. 

"It's amazing what you can do with a little metal and ingenuity, isn't it?" T said while he was wielding his machete. He put his foot on Terry, pinning him to the ground. In a dramatic pose, he lifted the machete over Terry's neck, ready to chop off his head. 

"T, please, don't." Terry pleaded. 

The only answer was maniacal laughter. 

"Ah ha ha ha!" 

Terry briefly glanced at his attacker. T had a huge grin on his now unnaturally pale face. 

"Joker venom..." Terry whispered. 

T was still laughing maniacally and waving the machete.

"Such a beautiful waste of life...any last words, McGinnis?" T asked. 

"I was gettin' ready to ask you the same question!" Harley yelled as she leapt from the shadows and pummeled T with a mallet. "Too late, though."  

T fell backwards and let out a laugh. 

"What's so funny, bird brain?" Harley asked. 

Terry noticed something on T's neck and plucked it off. 

"Ow!" T yelled. 

"Harley, what's this?" 

"It looks like a trackin' device..." 

Terry turned it over to reveal a little bag of fluid attached to a hypodermic needle. 

"Is this what caused..." 

"It looks like Jokah venom...grandpa must a been using 'em to practice on..." 

"Sick..." T moaned. 

T looked at Terry and Harley. 

"What happened? Where am I?" 

Ace followed Harley and was now growling angrily at T. 

"Ace, calm down; he's okay now." Terry whispered as he grabbed the dog by the collar. The dog left his fighting stance but remained tense. 

"We were kind a wonderin' the same thing, so you don remember tryin ta kill us earlier?" Harley asked. 

"Kill you? Why would I do that?" T asked. 

"We figured you had your reasons..." Terry said dryly as he showed T the tracking device.

"Joker..." T whispered. 

T, still lying on the ground, turned his attention back to Terry, Harley, and Ace.

"Look, he forced me; I didn't have a choice."

"We believe you..." Terry said.

"That's typical for grandpa, bird boy." Harley said. 

"...and Joker's been tracking us..." T said as he held up the little device. 

"We haf ta get out a here before he finds us." Harley warned. 

___________________________________________________________

 

Joker let out a maniacal cackle as he watched the whole thing on screen. 

"Well, he might not be the world's greatest detective, but that kid has foiled more of my plots accidentally than most superheroes would have done on purpose...I like him..." 

Joker leaned back in his chair. 

"T needs to work on his timing, though..."

"Ace is...well, a dog...why do I feel like I'm forgetting someone?" 

"What about Harley, boss?" 

"Oh...and Harley...well, she's just like her grandmother...I'm counting on it..." 

"...right now, though, I think I'm going to give 'em all a good spanking..." Joker cackled as he pulled some kind of lever. 

The monitor showed an area of the cavern sparking. Then there was some smoke. 

"What's that?" T asked. 

Joker watched the monitor, and nothing happened; he started to get angrier and angrier. 

"They took out my missiles!" Joker yelled. 

The henchman let out some nervous laughter. 

"Remind me, Rocky...how do I kill you, again? Oh, never mind, I remember!"

Joker pulled out something that looked like a water gun. 

"But, boss, I was just..." 

"...but...but...boss..." Joker mocked.

"Please..." the henchman was now on his knees crying. 

Joker suddenly put his hand on his shoulder with a firm clap. Some of the sticky substance of whatever this monster henchman was made of stuck to his glove. 

"There...there...I just want you to do me a little favor, Rocco." 

"Anything!" 

"I want you to use that little shape-shifting trick to help me impersonate someone very special..." Joker trilled off into maniacal laughter.  

_______________________________________________________________________

 "Grandpa's got eyes and ears all over Gotham." 

"Then we aren't going back to Gotham, either, not this time."

"I want to go back to Gotham; I want to go home." Terry said in a whine. 

Harley looked at him with concern. 

"We'll get you home, Puddin, if that's really where you want to go." 

T giggled at Harley's pet name. 

"Puddin? You know that's a term of endearment the Jokerz gangs use, right? Congratulations, McGinnis, you're a Joker now!" T said playfully. 

"More like a class clown..." Terry said with a blush.  

Harley smacked T in the head.

"Don't even joke like that! I'd take Terry over one uh those pretenders any day!" 

"Let's hope so..." T said, still mocking. 

"Grandpa doesn't like imitators and duplicates anyway..." 

"Speaking of duplicates..." T trailed off and sighed. 

T gave Harley a look of disappointment. 

"...but you don't know about him, do you?" T said before walking off. 

Harley caught up with T. Terry wasn't with them; he was still playing with Ace and recovering from the fight. 

"About who?" 

"Harley, if I tell you something, will you promise not to repeat it?" 

"Maybe...it depends on what it is..." 

"I need you to promise...you won't tell anyone, okay?" 

"Okay." Harley said with her fingers crossed behind her back.

"Have you ever heard of the Red Hood gang?"

Harley slowly nodded her head.

"I used to be a member."

Harley's eyes grew wide, and she allowed her mouth to open a little before composing herself. 

"That means you knew the..." Harley stopped herself. 

"Right. I knew the Red Hood, and I've been hearing rumors that he's still alive."

"...but he's not, grandpa had 'em killed, something about 'being too similar to 'em' or something..."

"What if he only thought he killed him, though? What if Red Hood is still alive and still out there, Harley?"

"I'd ask 'em why he let everything fall into such disrepair. I mean, he's supposed to be a superhero's superhero. Why couldn't he handle Owlman and my grandpa?"

"I don't know, but I would just be happy to see him again...he took me in when I was running from the owl."

Harley lowered her paint covered eyebrows as she studied his expression.

"Big whoop...he didn't do anything for me when I was running from Joker. I had to rely on my gang and my wits, not some pie-in-the-sky hero." Harley said.

"Harley, for all of his heroism, you know, he is only human."

Harley let out a yawn and then said, "well, there's not a lot that's super about bein just a human being, now, is there?"

"I don't know. They say that Batman was just a human being, a really skilled one nonetheless, and the owl, if you took away all of weapons and chemicals, he would just be human."

"It's hard for me ta imagine any uh those as people. The bat's a legend that even my grandpa respects, and the owl's a monster...he even killed my grandma and had my mother killed, too."  

"Look, I'll make you a deal. I'll help break you into Wayne Manor to get Terry back home, just promise you'll help me search for Red Hood." 

"You keep missin' da joke. I don't want Terry to go back home. I want 'em ta stay here with me."

"...but he doesn't want that, and you know that you want what's best for him." T said.

Harley sighed.

"It's a deal, but no double-cross, okay Talon?"

"You have my word, Harley."

Harley yawned. How many times had she heard that one?  

 


	20. Monsters Among Us

Talon took Terry and Harley and lead them out of the cavern, back toward Robinson Park. Ivy was no longer there.

Terry activated his suit and flew ahead to scan the area.

"Hey, why doncha' have a suit like dat?" Harley asked.

"I did, when I was Talon. In addition to being invincible, we were armed to the teeth for some reason. I'm guessing Bruce was paranoid."

Harley let out a giggle.

"You're funny, you know that?" Harley said.

"I really wasn't trying to be, but thanks, I think..." T said.

Terry landed in the middle of their conversation.

"Okay, there's a trail that leads out of Robinson Park toward Wayne Manor. I think it's going to be our fastest route there."

Terry explained.

"Did you scan for booby traps, McGinnis?" Harley asked.

"Yeah, trust me, the owl would never leave himself uncovered." T said.

"It looked clear." Terry said.

The three teens and the dog started down the long and winding trail behind Robinson Park and at the edge of Gotham.

"Oh, why do I have a bad feeling about this?" Harley asked.

Terry grabbed Harley and held her by the shoulder. "Stay close."

"We'll be fine..." T said.

Ace let out a whimper.

__________________________

Joker was inches away from the kids. He giggled and shivered thinking about his plan. 

"Okay, Rocco, just like we practiced..." Joker said. 

"Uh...okay, boss." 

"They won't know what happened!" Joker exclaimed before letting out a maniacal laugh. 

"This...um...seems like a pretty cruel thing to do to kids, boss." Rocky said weakly.

"Do I pay anyone around here who isn't me to think, hmm? Do you remember how close you came to being a mud puddle earlier? I still have the gun in my coat pocket by the way..."

Rocky swallowed hard.

"No boss, sorry."

"That's better...now, get into position. This is actually pretty non-violent for me...those kids should feel lucky I wasn't in the mood to disembowel them and paint pretty pictures with their entrails. In fact, the only reason I didn't is because today, it just didn't seem funny enough." Joker let out another disturbing giggle.

Rocky thought that having superpowers would mean that people wouldn't be able to take advantage of him, but he found out how wrong he was when he started working for the Joker. His life had been threatened so many times that it almost felt like a joke at this point, and he had no idea how to leave the clown's employ without leaving life. Sick things like this happened all the time with the Joker. Rocky swallowed hard again.

 _Come to think of it, this is pretty mild for him. Yesterday, he blew up a whole school building just because he said it was in his way! How did I ever end up working for this sick freak?_ Rocky thought to himself.  

"Everything's ready, boss." 

"Okay, Rocco, make yourself into a hero! Ha ha ha!" 

Rocky started to mold himself into the version of Bruce Wayne's form that Joker stole from the bat suit's tapes. 

"Ha! I love it! You look like old Bats alright. Do you remember your lines?" Joker asked. 

"Terry? Are you three all right? The Justice League and I followed you here when I heard you were in trouble." 

"Oh! that's good...I might just increase your...health benefits..." 

"Okay, just like we rehearsed. Don't say or do anything that the bat wouldn't say or do. They're going to be so surprised when they find out what's really going on. Ha ha ha!" 

Rocco walked out disguised as Bruce Wayne, the shriveled old man with cane in hand.

Joker watched the play unfold. He watched Rocco shuffle toward the kids with a limp.

_Oh, Bruce, I wonder what old age has done to you; you looked positively worn out in that video._

"Okay, Rocco, you're on. If there are any doubts, consult me via the one-way radio. I'll be watching. Don't disappoint me _."_

"Okay, boss." 

Terry stopped. 

"What's wrong?" T asked. 

"I heard something. It sounded like foot steps." Terry said. 

 

Ace bristled and growled and walked toward the nearly invisible sound. 

"No, no! That dog's going to blow your cover. Quick, throw some acid in its face. That'll teach it to mess with you!" 

Rocco did as he was told, and as soon as the dog winced at the burning, it turned tail and ran back to Terry yowling and whimpering. 

Terry heard the dog. 

_What's gotten in to him?_

"Who would follow us all the way out here?" Harley asked.

"I don't know, but I guess we're about to find out."

There was a rustling in the cave that got louder and louder. An old and shriveled figure stepped out of the shadows.

 

"Bruce!" Terry and T shouted.

"Terry? it's me. Batman, for real this time. The Justice League and I followed you here when I heard you were in trouble."

"Bruce, is it really you?" Terry asked.

"Yes! It's me; are you three all right?"

Terry backed up to T and Harley. 

"We're fine."

Terry stared in disbelief. After what happened, he wasn't taking any chances. Terry whistled for Ace.

Ace slowly crept out of the corner where he was hiding, but he wouldn't even make eye contact with Bruce.

"Keep your distance, Rocco. Remember what you saw in the video, what happened with Ace and Owlman."

Ace let out a whimper and let Terry pet him.

Terry saw burn marks.

"What happened to you?"

"Ace found his way into a puddle of toxic chemicals; I tried to stop him." Rocco said.

Terry looked with a little more disbelief.

"This...is the most unbelievable thing I've ever witnessed." T whispered to Harley.

"A little too good to be true, if you ask me." Harley said.

"Bruce? Are you sure it's you?" Terry asked.

"Yes, Terry, it's me." Rocco replied.

"Um, Rocco, you might want to explain what happened with that dramatic little death scene. I'll help you..."

"My enemies took me away to this dimension and created an elaborate plot to make it look like I died. They had an actor watch tapes of me for months. Then they dressed him up and fed him a poison that would cause a heart attack; they wanted to make it look like natural causes. It fooled a lot of my friends, and that's probably why no one went looking for me. You have every right to be suspicious, though, after everything you've been through. I mean, this story is so unbelievable that even I might have trouble believing it, Batman."

"Bruce? It really is you!" Terry yelled excitedly. 

Joker giggled over the intercom, and Rocco went to hug Terry. 

"Not too close; some of that rubbery feel could pass for the kevlar Bats would normally wear, but you aren't wearing any armor. That unnaturally stretchy skin would give you away."

Rocco wasn't listening to Joker; he had Terry wrapped in a full embrace.

"I missed you." Terry whispered.

"I missed you, too." Rocco whispered.

"Oh, how hopelessly sweet. Rocco, cut to the chase please, before I vomit."

"Terry, we need to find and infiltrate Wayne Manor. Owlman has a trans-dimensional transport device at his hideout. It's our only way back home."

"I just don't feel like Batman would say 'phase oscillator,' Rocco, even though that's a pretty accurate description."

"We were on our way there." Terry said.

"You need my help," Rocco said, "Owlman is far too dangerous to take on alone. I don't normally say this, but this man is way out of your league, Terry. It's going to be like fighting an evil version of me."

 "I don't think he counted on the original showing up, though, Bruce." Terry said flatly. There was a little note of elation in his voice, though. 

"Come on! We'll hit Owlman so hard he won't even know what hit him!" Harley yelled. 

"Oh, don't these little moments of bonding bring tears to your eyes, Rocco?" 

"Keep close, everyone. We'll reach Wayne Manor in a few hours. Be on the lookout for traps."

"Ooh! Nice work, Rocky. Your voice work is almost convincing me...speaking of traps...sounds like a lovely idea. I'll scout ahead and make sure the coast is clear...or maybe I'll set some of my own...aha ha ha ha!

Rocco felt a knot in the pit of his stomach.  

_I can't believe I'm actually going to go through with this._

_______________________

 

T continued walking with Terry, Harley, Ace. He was highly suspicious of the guy who called himself an alternate version of Bruce Wayne. The situation already felt really fishy to him for some reason. Something just wasn't right. Owlman was full of surprises; it wasn't smart to put anything past him.

Thankfully, this "Bruce" was staying far ahead of them. It wasn't easy to stare into the face of someone who looked identical to a guy who nightly subjected him to unspeakable torture and, just to add insult to injury, tried to murder him after he decided he wasn't useful enough. He wished he could find Red Hood; he knew the answers to a lot of questions that didn't make sense in the multi-verse, and if anyone could keep him safe, it was him.

T scratched his arm and remembered Joker's injection.

_I wonder what the real trick is here? Where did he get a sample of Owlman's elixir, and what did he mix it with? Am I going to drop dead after my two days are up?_

_Sick. I need to find Hood; if anyone knows how to reverse something Joker did, it's him._

T continued to follow the group, lagging as far behind as he could just to observe the scene. 

 _I'm invincible, but I don't feel like it. I've honestly never felt so vulnerable and I've never been so afraid. Something just doesn't feel right._ _Joker doesn't help people, at least not from what I've heard. There's a deadly punchline coming up. I wish I were as brave as Terry, clinging to Bruce like that, ha! You would think Bruce was the Red Hood the way Terry looks up to him. My Bruce and I have never had such a close relationship. I'm jealous at how much he trusts him, and I kind of want to just cut his head off while he's distracted, because he reminds me so much of the owl!_

__________________

Rocco stopped. They had reached Wayne Manor. 

"Oh, now it's time for the fun to begin," Joker cooed. 

Rocco shivered. 

"T, the retina scans. Check and see if they work. If so, we can get in easily." 

At first, T ignored them. 

"T! The retina scans..." 

"I'll check it if you all promise to back me up, but if I were the owl, that would be the first thing I would change."

"It's worth a shot anyway."

With that, T lead them to a secret entrance that opened a secret corridor. T was staring at a retinal scanner.

T held his face to the scanner.

"Scan complete...Terry McGinnis."

T hesitated. 

"T, why are you stopping?" 

"Terry, this has to be a trap; he's making it too easy." 

Rocco, as Bruce, cracked his knuckles. 

"If it is a trap, we'll be waiting for them." Terry growled. 

_He's so sure of himself with his mentor around. I wish I were like that._

 

 

 

 

 

"Good, now let's see your best impression of yours truly...don't get it wrong..." 

Rocky started to mold himself into Joker's form. It looked convincing enough. 

"Now, speak; don't forget your lines." Joker said.

"Aha ha ha ha!"

Joker put his hand to his chin as if considering something.

"Well, it'll have to do, I guess...you are certainly no Basil Karlo, though! "

_____________________________________________________________________________

 

As Terry was walking, he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. Terry looked up and almost turned white. 

"Hello, kiddo!" 

"Joker..." Terry said. 

"That's me!" 

Terry immediately tried to run. Harley and the others were supposed to be behind him. 

Suddenly, he felt a needle going into his arm. 

 _It's more of that paralyzing solution, isn't?_ Terry asked himself. 

Terry fell to the ground; he wasn't able to move a muscle...or so he thought. 

"So...you thought you were going to escape from me, did you?" 

Terry attempted to move again, expecting to be paralyzed, but he wasn't. He swiftly kicked the figure that had him pinned. 

"Ow! Hey, you're strong! How did you do that?" 

 _Why is Joker's skin so...rubbery?_ Terry thought.

"Grandpa?" Harley asked. 

"Oh, Harley, I was worried sick about you!" 

Harley lowered her eyebrows at the figure.

"Are you...feeling okay?" 

______________________________________________________________

Joker was disguised and watching the whole thing from behind a nearby rock.

_No, you idiot; you are completely out of character. This is excruciating to watch! Oh, I've never been so embarrassed by one of my henchmen since I allowed the original Harley Quinn to plan my schemes, and unfortunately for you, you aren't as cute as she was!_

Joker continued watching. 

"I'm feeling fine, gumdrop." Rocky said as he cuddled Harley. 

Giggling, Joker rolled his eyes.  

_That impression was so bad, it was funny! That's it, Rocco, you've made your last mistake as my employee...time to send you to that big mud puddle in the...well, you get the picture..._

The gun clickedas Joker took off the safety. 

_Ooh! Someone has a sense of humor. Why did they put a safety lock on a water gun? This is the water gun, isn't it?_

Joker took aim at Rocco and fired. Out came a stream of greenish looking liquid. 

_Yep, that's the water gun; I was halfway expecting bullets..._

The greenish liquid made contact with the man who looked like Joker and started burning him like acid.

Harley pulled away as his hands started to melt.

The clown laughed and pulled the trigger again.

The liquid made contact with what was left of the man who looked like Joker and continued to melt him into a puddle. 

 _I'm melting; I'm melting. I told you I wasn't human, kids!_ Joker thought while stifling a giggle. 

 _More green liquid, more melty melty...it's a fun little chemical reaction, Rocco, like pouring salt on a slug. Thank you, I feel like I'm back in science class making stink bombs when the teacher's back was turned!_  Joker paused to see if that was a real memory. He smiled at the idea of being that kind of kid, even though he couldn't really remember ever doing anything that carefree. 

Rocco melted into a brownish liquid and soaked into the ground.

Terry, Harley, T, and Ace were all trying to figure out what was going on.

Joker giggled.

_You know, I don't think it was a mistake to kill Rocco instead of letting him kill the kids, like I originally planned. It would have been hilarious had he stayed in character, but that, was just terrible, I've read fan fiction with a better me in it!"_

A bat in the cave caught Joker's eye.

_Besides, isn't there some reason I wanted to keep at least a few of these people alive?_

Joker thought for a few seconds. 

_Oh yeah, Owlman...I almost forgot...you know, old age does do something to the memory...how impossibly funny would it be if I ended up with dementia? No, you weren't supposed to kill me today, boss, I promise! Are you sure? I can't remember. I think I'll do it anyway just to get it out of the way. Ah aha ha ha ha! I crack myself up._

Joker closed his eyes and smiled. 

 _Speaking of crack up, it's been a long time since I've appeared in costume. I haven't done it since I tricked old Dick into believing I was the murder mystery writer Oberon Sexton, whom I killed on a whim after I caught him killing his wife--she wasn't even laughing, ooh, what a creep! If you're going to kill someone, at least make it fun! Well, I can't be Sexton today; no one even knows who that is anymore, and I haven't made any fresh kills that weren't either henchmen or meta-humans. I guess I could approach this a little more slowly, do some research, make a few mercy kills, steal their identities, and then come back... I could even write a book about it all...that would take too long, but wow would it be a fun prank._  Joker thought. _...but those were the old days...the days when I only thought Batman was dead. This time he really...is. There would be no one to stop me. Even I don't enjoy the joyless laughter and dead smiles of my innocent victims, not anymore...how boring and anti-climatic. I've literally done it to death._

Tears were in his eyes again for some reason, even though he didn't think he felt sad.

_Oh, Bats, thinking about you does all kinds of things to me! Without you, crime has no punchline--it just isn't funny. Everything's too easy; nothing's worth the effort. There's no challenge! I need challenge, Bats!_

A bat flew above his head, wrecking his train of thought. Joker grabbed the offending creature. 

"Why, you miserable flying rodent! How dare you interrupt me..."

The flash of leathery wings reminded him of Bruce's cape. Joker involuntarily shed more tears and let the animal go.

"That dreadful owl killed my only friend..."

 Joker wiped away his tears, reapplied his makeup, and brushed off his suit. 

 _If they start to suspect anything; I'll just leave._  Joker thought as he adjusted his disguise. 

__

 

Terry saw a shadow in the distance. Ace bristled, growled, and ran toward the intruder.

Joker looked at Ace.

"No! no, you'll blow my cover!"

The clown took out a vial of acid and threw it in the animal's direction.

Ace ran back to Terry and crew whimpering.

Terry, Harley, and T continued to watch the shadows. The sound of gentle footsteps could be heard.

Out of the shadows emerged a much older man with a graying mustache and a monocle over one of his eyes. Half of his face was covered with a scarf.   

"Um, it's a little early for Halloween." T quipped. 

"Who in blazes a you?" Harley asked in a less than polite tone. 

"Shouldn't I be asking you the same question?" asked the mystery man. 

  

"I see...listen, I'll cut to the chase, I'm working on the Owlman case, and I have reason to suspect that he is affiliated with Bruce Wayne the billionaire. I'm going to set up an investigation of Wayne Manor, and I was wondering if you would be interested in helping me."

"It's awfully weird that a detective we never heard of jus shows up outta the blue, don't cha think?" Harley asked with a skeptical scowl.

"Oh, I've been working undercover and trailing you for weeks. We also have reason to suspect the Joker is involved in this."

T and Harley raised both of their eyebrows and walked away with Terry, leaving Detective Outis. When they were sure they were out of earshot, they started talking.

"Wow, that was the biggest load a baloney I ever had to listen to."

"Who do you think this guy really is, and why is he following us?"  

"Don't you think he might just be a concerned citizen?" 

"A concerned citizen? Seriously?" 

"Let's see...nope...and this is why..." T said as he held up a strand of green hair. 

"I found this on our detective's coat." 

"Joker?" 

"Okay, that raises all sorts of questions for me. Mainly, why would he dress up in such a goofy looking disguise?" 

Harley giggled, and T smiled. 

"He's probably used to people being too trusting, like you were, McGinnis." 

"Another reason is he's just crazy; sometimes he's brilliant and other times, he's just..."

"A clown." 

"...trust me, I've been livin with the guy for over ten years." 

"Well...okay, but now that we know it's the Joker, how should we deal with it?" 

 

 

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two mysterious heroes who have up to this point been absent from the story, make an appearance. We begin with hero one worrying about how similar he looks to Joker and how it might impact his sidekick now that he's back at his side. The sidekick does not know that the hero and a well-known comedian are the same person in this story and he aims to keep it that way. 
> 
>  
> 
> They arrive back at Wayne Manor only to find it deserted and booby-trapped. T, Terry, and Harley realize they've reached a dead end, and it looks like the end, when the heroes show up and beat the henchmen who are threatening them. Harley makes a comment about him being similar in size and build to someone she knows and him looking familiar. Hood politely says that he gets that a lot and listens to Harley, T, and Terry share their stories.

  
The mysterious hero stood unmasked. There, in front of Jason, Harley, and the two Terry's stood a very pale, ghostly white, man with blood red lips and purple hair with green roots.

"You!" Jason shouted. His tone was fierce and angry, like he was ready to tear something, or someone, apart. 

Red Hood stood there unable to utter a syllable.

"You? I actually trusted...you? After all you put me through?" Jason asked. The frustration and anger in his voice made Red Hood cringe at every word.

"Jokester...that death worshiping piece of garbage who tried to KILL me..." Jason began. 

Red Hood looked at the ground while he listened to Jason's angry outburst. 

"You're sicker than I thought!" Jason spat, "tricking me into working with you...ALL OF THESE YEARS? What was your plan? To lure me into another warehouse? To set off another bomb? To set me up through another fake family?" 

Hood let out a very weak giggle and attempted to smile; he wanted to show Jason he wasn't a threat, but of course, that was misperceived. 

Jason clenched both of his fists and lowered his eyebrows to a deeply hurt scowl. Hood looked and was sure he saw tears forming in his eyes.

"Well, I guess you are the baron of betrayal..."  

"Jason...I can explain..." Hood whispered weakly. 

"Explain what? That you lied to me? That you decided to mascarade as a hero when you're the lowest of murderers...what is there to explain?" 

Jason walked cautiously toward Terry and stood between him and Red Hood like an angry dog protecting its owners. 

"You're as far away from hero as they come!" Jason growled.

"To think you tricked me into falling for this mockery, this revolting satire of heroism!"  

A gun clicked as Jason took the safety off. 

"There's really only one cure for your kind."

Red Hood let out a sigh and lowered his head in surrender.  

"You might take me for a fool, but... today the joke's on you!" Jason growled. 

"POW!" 

Before Hood could react, a pain like fire shot through his head. There was a bloody explosion, and everything went black.

_________________________________

Terry looked at the two clowns lying in a pool of blood. Feelings of relief and confusion coursed through him. He turned to Jason and embraced him. 

"Thank you!" 

"Let's get you home." Jason said. 

Jason pulled a machine he'd stolen off of Red Hood out of his pocket. 

"Wait. Owlman's there." T said cautiously as he, Ace, and Harley emerged from some broken machinery. 

T talked her into removing her Harley Quinn costume and makeup earlier; he knew the way Jason was about clowns since Joker.  

"Then I'll go, too!" Jason said. 

"You're not leaving us behind, big brother," T said, "the owl won't be able to beat all of us."  

Jason gave a cynical laugh as he opened the portal. 

Jason briefly looked at Harley as she stepped in.

"What?"

"You...look familiar." Jason said. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	22. Chapter 22

"Hellooooo!" Joker cooed.

Red Hood, called Jokester, woke up and tried to clear the blurriness from his eyes. 

"Wha? What happened?" Jokester asked. 

"Oh, I'd say it was a 54 magnum...the boy has an explosive personality, doesn't he?" 

Jokester recognized the voice; he felt his blood run cold. 

"You're... alive still?" Jokester said flatly, like he was disappointed. 

"And look who's talking. That bullet went through your brain like a bullet through a watermelon." 

Jokester blinked. He didn't really find it funny. He still let out an experimental "ha..." more to test if he was alive than anything else. 

Coming face to face with Joker was like living in some kind of sick joke. The clown scowled at Joker and made a face. 

Joker returned the face and blew a raspberry. 

A few more seconds passed and he was now realizing what happened. 

"Jason..." Jokester whispered out of the blue. 

"No. I'm the Joker. Jason's the one who shot you." Joker said. 

"I need to go find Jason, Terry, and those kids. Owlman's going to..."

"That's going to be pretty difficult to do without your machine..." Joker said. 

Jokester was standing with his fists clenched and shaking. 

"...and besides, aren't you forgetting something? It's hard to save the world when you wear such a recognizable face." Joker said before letting out an evil laugh.

Jokester felt so angry that he almost reached out and strangled Joker for the comment. Instead, he knocked him out with a swift punch. 

"That'll take care of you for a few hours." Jokester said in the most heroic, non-Joker voice he could manage. 

What is it with super villains and gloating after they do something particularly heinous? Jokester asked himself. After that thought, he started to have a flashback 

He remembered the first time he ever came face to face with Joker; it was at his old comedy club. The deranged clown was wearing his trademark green suit and purple hair, the nerve of him! It got worse, though, in his hand was a crowbar and his newly adopted talon, a boy no younger than seven. 

"Jason..." Jokester whispered. 

The comedian kidnapped the boy a year earlier, because he was concerned about what might happen to him under the owl's care. Kidnapping was usually wrong, but it would have been wrong for him to leave the kid with that monster. He had heard about what happened to main universe Jason Todd and overheard Owlman plotting to kill this version in similar fashion because he "wasn't catching on quickly enough." Once upon a time, he wouldn't have gotten involved, and today he was wishing that he didn't, because there he was...beating the kid with a crowbar on stage in front of a literally captive audience. Well, it obviously wasn't him exactly, but the resemblance was so close...so nearly identical, he often found himself wanting to check his own movements to make sure it wasn't really him committing the crime or that he wasn't having some kind of weird hallucination. 

Jokester pulled the disguised Joker off stage with a classic stage cane and beat the clown up until he was unconscious--it probably took less than three seconds---that had to be a new record---and then moved to rescue the bleeding and broken child. When the kid saw his face, though, he recoiled with fear; he bit and scratched and wouldn't let the clown get near him. 

"When Owlman finds out what you did to me, he'll kill you!" young Jason spat. 

Jokester felt a lump in his stomach. There was no way he could ever explain that it wasn't him but his evil double. He'd already stooped to kidnapping. Swallowing hard, Jokester made a decision. 

"'Well, sonny, today is your lucky day; I've decided to let you go." Jokester said in the most Joker-esque voice he could manage to stomach. 

Young Jason spat a clod of blood in his face. Jokester took his hand and gently wiped it away, stifling tears in the process. 

This seemed like explanation enough, though, as Jason allowed him to untie him. The child limped away as quickly as his bruised limbs would carry him. 

Now, it was time to free the other hostages, if he even could. They had all been given something that was making them laugh a horrible joyless laughter. 

Just then...

"Aha ha ha ha!" 

Jokester turned to see the crazed mad clown still disguised as him. 

"Curious about my toy, are you? Here, take a deep breath and don't forget to smile!" Joker growled as he released some kind of gas from the flower on his lapel. 

Jokester started laughing and choking and gagging. The laughter was impossible to stop, and he was having trouble breathing. Eventually, he passed out. 

When he came to, the club was empty, except for little Jason beaten bloody and tied to a drum full of explosives. Again, Jokester did everything he could to save the boy; he would have tried disarming the bomb, but there were only seconds left. In the end, he fled, like a coward, and saved himself; he allowed Jason to perish because he didn't know how to help him. 

Losing Jason plagued him so much that he decided to do another forbidden thing. He had a friend, well sort of, who used a weaker version of Owlman's elixir to keep himself young. He wondered if maybe, just maybe he could help the now comatose, possibly dead, child. 

Jokester remembered disguising himself in the trademark red hood outfit and sitting as an audience member when they lowered him into that strange solution of diluted metals. 

Soon, the unimaginable happened. Jason's corpse was...moving. The frightened child sat up and started breathing. 

At first, Hood was elated. Good had triumphed over evil...or so it seemed. 

Coming back to life, though, wasn't sitting so well for the would-be talon. He had never tasted the owl's elixir or been party to the strange regeneration the talons go through. The process of coming back...it looked like it scared him half to death. 

Hood watched the train wreck unfold as the child came to and fled from the pit screaming like a mad man. 

It wasn't enough to keep him away, though, and he eventually caught up with the boy, infiltrated the underground group that had taken him in, and was giving him personal lessons on being a crime fighter. Those were his best days ever. It came at a price, though; Jokester was no more, because Joker tainted the image. He swore he would never let Jason see his face after that night. 


	23. Chapter 23

Summary: 

 

Owlman finds himself in a strange place; it looks like a carnival. 

Joker's laughter can be heard in the distance. 

"Owlsie, palsie, I've been expecting you." 

______________

Terry gets up and cautiously makes his way to main room. There, Bruce is sitting, talking to a picture of Alfred. 

Terry slowly makes his way to the kitchen. 

"She tried to poison me..." Bruce said, "it's a wonder that I'm still alive, Terry. Two more hours, and...they would have been having my funeral." 

Off and on, members of the Justice League show up to congratulate Bruce on his recovery. 

Terry absentmindedly wanders off. 

A dream; it was all a dream after all. Terry thought. 

Just then, his cell phone rang. 

Terry picked it up. 

"Hidey hi, Bat boy, don't tell me you forgot about me..." 

"Harley?" 

"Yeah, b-man wannabe. Don't tell me you're still tryin ta convince yourself that this was all a dream. I'm real, b-boy." 

"Obviously..." 

"Anyway, we got the phase oscilator doo-hickey workin again, so I guess I won't be seeing much of you...interdimensional travel is difficult to say the least, you know, but I thought I would just call and say...thanks for showin dis girl a good time." 

"You're welcome." 

"If you do ever happen to be in the neighborhood again, do stop by." Jokester chimed in. 

"Oh, and thanks for helping me meet Red Hood. I think I've finally found my place in dis crazy circus..." 

"Don't mention it; anytime..." 

"Ha ha ha..." 

Just then, Bruce notices the conversation. 

"Terry...who are you talking to?" 

"Oh, no one important...sorry, I have to go...I'm glad everything turned out well."

"More than well, Harley's agreed to join my team of inter-dimensional crime fighters." 

"You sure seem excited for something unimportant..." 

"Why wouldn't I be excited? You're alive!"

"It was a close call." 

"You have no idea, Bruce." 


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These are just summaries and story ideas.

Summary:

Nightwing and the other heroes, only much younger than Terry expected to see them, arrive to help out at the last minute.

Joker turns up (earlier he was disguised as a detective who was helping them), and threatens Red Hood if he doesn't give him his kids back and stop the mission. Red Hood, of course, refuses, and Joker unmasks him. Jason is angry that Jokester lied to him and tried to cover up his identity. Jason says that from now on he is the Red Hood, and Jokester should just stick to being a clown. He also threatens to ruin the reputation of Red Hood once and for all by donning the mask and committing all sorts of talon crimes.

Terry, angered by this, flies up to the rafters and challenges Joker in the style of Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker, telling Joker why Red Hood is so much better than him and why he isn't a good super villain at all. Nightwing follows him. The confrontation ends with Joker accidentally knocking himself out. Red Hood then starts to work trying to calibrate a way to get Terry back home, but Nightwing and those friends from the bat family, turn out to be Owlman's top talons.

Terry releases Ace to take care of them, and Harley worries for her grandfather who is still passed out on the floor. Jokester jumps in the fray and manages to beat all of them.

Joker starts waking up, but Red Hood, now as Jokester, stops him with some knockout gas.

Now with Joker and the evil owl kids knocked out, Jokester gets back to work trying to calibrate the phase oscilator to send Terry home. While scanning, Jokester notices that the owl is in Terry's dimension. They don't want to send Terry home to have to try to clean up the mess by himself, so they offer to go with him. Terry reluctantly accepts.

They return to Terry's Gotham only to find it in shambles. The owl recruited several known super villains to take out the superheros, and he's got Gotham and most of the major cities under some kind of totalitarian rule. His game is look like the hero while letting the others do the dirty work. Make them pay through the nose for the crimes he commits. He makes some of Wayne's competition look like boy scouts.

"The Justice League members have been imprisoned."

Jokester, Harley, and Terry find a way to trick Owlman back to his dimension and free the other superheroes.

Flash explains that he can set things right and maybe even bring Bruce back. Jokester tells Terry to go with him, but he needs to stay behind to try to fix his phase oscilator, which got damaged in a fight. Harley offers to go with Terry, but Terry directs her to stay with Jokester.

story in progress

After grabbing Flash's hand and traveling way too fast for any human being, Terry wakes up again in the same bedroom that he passed out in in Wayne Manor before he found out he was in another dimension.

 

 

After the rendevous with Poison Ivy, Terry, Harley, and Ace run into T who tries to stop them and take them back to Joker's hideout. Harley manages to beat T, though, and convince him to side with them. T confesses that he's being forced to work for the Joker and wants to get back to Red Hood. Harley is intrigued and makes T a deal--help them find Owlman's phase oscilator so McGinnis can return home, and she'll help him find Red Hood.


	25. Suit yourself!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terry soon finds that Joker left a nasty computer program in his bat suit. Will Joker bot's control bring down Terry or will he be able to overcome the madness and defeat Owlman? Find out!

"Chaos, destruction, anarchy. Oh...isn't it just wonderful, kiddo?"

Terry froze. He immediately recognized the voice.

"What? Who said that?"

"Over here..."

Terry looked around in confusion.

"Hmm...I guess I could say you're wearing your madness, but I guess that would be too obvious. It would have been too obvious for the other batman; that's for sure."

Suddenly, what the voice was alluding to registered.

"The suit? This is the suit talking to me?"

"Just a few little alterations..." the voice said with a giggle.

Terry moved to take the suit off, but his arms were frozen in place.

"Ah...ah....ah...that's not how I want to play this game!"

The next thing Terry felt was a paralyzing shock.

He dropped to the ground and writhed in agony.

"Ha ha ha ha!"

Terry struggled to get back up.

"You're funny, McGinnis. I think that's why I left you alive. You know, I could have easily killed you back in my home dimension. I had many chances." The voice paused.

"...but do you know how boring a game becomes if you kill all of the players?" 

"No..." Terry said. 

"Well, anyway, I have a problem, and I think you and your friends may be the people to help me solve it. See, I hate the owl as much as you do, probably more. I want him dead, kiddo, no...worse!" 

"How can you get worse than dead? You know, this time I'm handing it to you; you are creepy sometimes..." 

"Nice of you to say, kiddo. I'll get around to explaining everything if I feel like it, but, to cut to the chase..."

A blade on Terry's suit popped out and stabbed him a little. Terry winced at the pain. 

"...I thought you might need some extra help, so I reprogrammed the suit old Bats gave you. Now, you have enhanced features, more cool weapons, and an outrageously entertaining bit of artificial intelligence...moi!" 

"...to call your intelligence artificial is an overstatement..." 

Just then, Terry heard a deafening noise that made him drop to his knees. 

"You impudent little excuse for a superhero! Let me lay it out in laymen's terms. I control this suit, and as long as you wear it I control you! You defeated my clone with a couple of cheap shots and one-liners, but you won't stand a chance of getting out alive this time unless you play by my rules...so rude of you...bringing up all of my insecurities to my impressionable little clone. I thought what better way to teach you a lesson than to let you become me for a little while with the help of one of your own toys...ha ha ha!"

"You're crazy." 

"...not telling me anything I don't already know, kiddo."

With that, Terry froze again. A painful surge of electricity coursed through his body.  

"...so those are your choices. Either play my game or die right here." 

"Fine, I'll play. What do you want me to do?"

Terry heard an excited squeal from the suit.  


End file.
